Life — March 22, 1888 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

oe “Write there's Life theze’s Hope.” VOL. XI. MARCH 22, 1888. No. 273. 28 West TWENTY-THIRD STREET, NEW YorK. Published every Thursday, $5.00 a year in advance, postage free. Single copies, 10 cents. Back numbers can be had by applying to this office. Vol. 1., bound, $15.00; Vol. II., bound, $10.00 ; Vols. III., IV., V., VI., VII., VIII, IX. and X., bound or in flat numbers, at regular rates. Rejected contributions will be destroyed unless accompanied by a stamped and directed envelope. Subscribers wishing address changed will greatly facilitate matters by sending old address as well as new. HE death of Henry Bergh is a loss to this community to be sincerely regretted. Few citizens have devoted their time and energies to such a noble purpose as this un- selfish and fearless man. A friend to the helpless, a watch- ful champion of the oppressed, ever ready to face ridicule and abuse in the discharge of what he deemed his duty, he has gone to his rest with the respect and love of many thousands of Americans. * * * [MERE is something magnificently heroic in the reckless courage of old England. Single-handed she has at different epochs attacked the Abyssinians, Zulus, and Bur- mese, to say nothing of minor tribes, and now she is picking a quarrel with Venezuela. We shall soon see the illustrated English weeklies teeming with soul-stirring battles as the British forces invade the territories of this gigantic nation. To see a burly policeman clubbing a helpless old woman is a pleasant sight to those who like it, but it is not calcu- lated to foster the highest form of military enthusiasm in a nation’s bosom. Venezuela, however, is a far more com- fortable nation to fight against than Russia, for instance, and infinitely less expensive. The reckless fury with which the Hon. J. Bull has backed out of various conflicts with this latter nation is still fresh in our minds. The Hon. J. has had his nose frequently pulled by more powerful nations, but when it comes to a dispute with Afghanistan or Venezuela, the lion rises in his might and roars. * * * ENERAL GRANT'S monument still hangs fire, and subscriptions come in slowly. New Yorkers are pub- lic-spirited enough, but champagne is three dollars a bottle, and with so many citizens whose incomes scarcely exceed $50,000 a year, it is hardly fair to hope for any definite re- sults within eight or ten years. EW YORK is behind Boston in pugilism, behind Philadelphia in repose, and also behind Comstock— with a sharp stick—in certain lines of morality, but when it comes to blizzards—good, all-around, go-as-you-please bliz- zards—we have proved ourselves less tame than we were generally considered. * * * HE vigorous methods now under consideration in Australia and New Zealand for the extermination of the pests that overrun those colonies should cause every public-spirited American to bestir himself for the salvation of his country. It is painful to realize that the period is rapidly approaching when our girls will be looked upon with abhorrence. The locusts of Egypt were a plague of a similar nature, not from any personal dislike to the in- dividual locust, but from their countless and uncontrollable numbers. In the days of our forefathers, girls were useful about the house, and often of service on the farm, but with the introduction of the piano, they became not only an absolute nuisance, but very expensive to maintain. Matters have rapidly gone from bad to worse, and the question now is, How shall we get rid of our girls? There is a popular prejudice against poison, and the more tender-hearted por- tion of the community are averse to shooting. Hanging is obviously too cruel. Young men are often willing to take charge of the pretty and more wealthy ones, but for the vast hordes which still remain there is no ready means of ex- termination. * * * EW YORK, to her surprise, possesses a Mayor who does not truckle to the Irish vote. He even has the effrontery to refuse to eat dirt when threatened with its loss. This not only “beats the Dutch” but the Irish too. Here- tofore when the “Irish vote” has wanted its boots blacked it has been in the habit of sending them around to the City Hall, and New York’s Mayor, or any other official, has been only too happy to do it. Hence it was not to be wondered at that most of our citizens almost fainted with surprise at Mr. Hewitt’s course, and nearly succumbed to the shock. His interview with St. Patrick, or rather with his ambassadors, is the best reading we have been favored with in many a long day. * * * L™ regrets to learn through the columns of the New York Zrzbune that President Cleveland is an imbecile and a liar, whose one object is the ruin of his country. Also that everything this gentleman can influence is not only going to the dogs, but going rapidly, and has been shooting in that unfortunate direction ever since he came into office. This is bad. Doubly bad, as he will probably retain his position for another four years. comicbooks.com