Life — March 15, 1888 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

AT fc oR Ki WLLy TOUGH ON JOHN. 64] T'S a bloomink shame,” remarked one of the fancy up-townerss, ‘that Sullivan can’t git a fight vith Smith.” You think it won't come off?” “ Naw; an’ ’ere poor John has been a keepink sober an’ gettink into fine physical condition, an’ now the whole business goes for nothink,”"—£poch, ‘‘YEs,” said the young man as he threw himself at the feet of the pretty school-teacher, ‘‘I love you and would go to the world’s end for you.” ‘You would not go to the end of the world for me, James. The world, or the earth as it is called, is round like a ball, slightly flattened at the poles. One of the first lessons in the elementary geography is devoted to the shape of the globe. You must have studied it when you were a boy.” ‘‘Of course I did, but—” ‘And it is no longer'a theory. Circumnavigators have established the fact.” ‘I know; but what I meant was that I would do anything to please you, Ah! Minerva, if you knew the aching void—” ‘There is no such thing as a void, James. Nature abhors a vacuum, but, admitting that there could be such a thing, how could the void you speak of be a void if there was an ache in it?” ‘‘ Well, at all events,” exclaimed the youth, ‘‘I’ve got a pretty fair balance in the savings- bank and I want you to be my wife. There!” ‘ Well, James, since you put it in that light I—."—Boston Courier. For the benefit of those who are getting tired of Truly rural” as a cure for stammering the following is respectfully submitted : Pronounce rapidly ‘She sells sea shells; shall she sell sea shells?” —Meriden Republican. » 157 A MATTER OF LIFE AND DEATH. LitTLe NELLIE: Ma, is the baby very sick ? Moruer : Not very, Nellie. “He isn’t likely to die, is he?” “Oh, no; you wouldn't like your little brother to die, would you?” ; “Well, n-no Ma, (with just a tinge of hesitation), 1 wouldn't like him to die, of course; but still, Ma, when Willie Waffies’ little brother died he didn’t have to go to school for a whole week.” —Ex. A CASE was being tried in the West of England, and at its termi- nation the judge charged the jury, and they retired for consultation. Hour after hour passed, and no verdict was brought in, The judge's dinner-hour arrived, and he became hungry and impatient, Upon inquiry, he learned’ that one obstinate juryman was holding out against eleven. That he could not stand, and he ordered the twelve men to be brought before him. He told them that in his charge to them he had so plainly stated the case and the law that the verdict ought to be unanimous, and the man who permitted his individual opinion to weigh against the judgment of eleven men of wisdom was unfit and disqualified ever again to act in the capacity of juryman. At the end of this excited harangue a little squeaky voice came from one of the jury. He said: “Will your lordship allow me to say a word !” Permission being given he added : “May it please your lordship, I am the only man on your side.”— Singapore Review. Brown: Lucky dog, that Smith, ain’t he ? Jones: Why, what's up now? “‘ His mother-in-law has just died and left him her sole heir. “Was the old lady wealthy ?” “No. She didn’t leave a dollar, but she had laid in her winter’s supply of coal."—Nebraska State Journal. Packer’s Tar Soap Will Cure Dandruff. FACT! LADIES’ THE ENGADINE . Bouquet, Atkinson’s New Perfume. This superb distillation sweetly recalls fragrant ‘Swiss flowers. Bright jewels in a setting of perpetual snow. NEW Palmer House, Chicago. Pexvap X Co. pis cull ‘ CELEBRATED HATS | AND ROUND HATS. 178 & 180 Fifth Ave. and 181 Broadway, near Cortland St., ANNUAL SPRING EXHIBIT —or— "PLEASURE CARRIAGES. U SERS of Highest Grade Pleasure Vehicles are invited to view our display for the present season, em- | bracing many novelties in design and finish for TOWN AND COUNTRY DRIVING. Every carriage, in its smallest de- tail, built on the premises under our personal supervision. , bet, 22d & 23d Sts., | YoRK. or4 Chestnut St., Phila. Saudboas EDENIA Sunidhorgs fl RHENISH Fe Cologue: UNDBORG’S PERFUMES make appro- AU priate and acceptable gifts. They are put up in neat attractive packages of various styles, and are for sale by all dealers. LADD & COFFIN, PROPRIETORS AND MANUFACTURERS, 24 BARCLAY STREET, NEW YORK. A Dining Car Line to the Pacific Coast. | ‘The completion of the all-rail line known as the “Shasta Route,” between Portland and San Fran- cisco, gives the'trans-continental traveler an oppor- tunity to patronize the famous dining car and Yel- lowstone Park route, The Northern Pacific Rail- road. While the Northern Pacific has long been the favorite line to Fargo, Moorhead, Grand Forks, Fergus Falls, Helena and Butte, Mont., Portland, Ore., Tacoma and Seattle, W. T., Victoria, B. C., and ‘the only rail line to Jamestown, Bismarck, Miles City, Bozeman, Spokane Falls, and many other prominent Western points, it is only recently that rates between the East and’ San Francisco va this route were made practically the same as by the older lines. Information with reference to the country tra- versed by the Northern Pacific, rates, time-tables, | illustrated tourist books and folders, will be cheer- fully given on application to any agent of The Northern Pacific R.Ry your nearest ticket agent, or Cuartas S, Fer, G.P.& T.A., N.P. RR St. Paul, Minn, BREWSTER & CO. (OF BROOME STREET), | BROADWAY, 47th to 48th STS. Only Place of Business. People of refined taste de- siring specially fine Cigarettes should use our Satin, Four in wy Hand, Athletic and Cupid. i Straight Cut, Hand Made, from the best Virginia and Turkish leaf. 8 Tobacco Works, 1d 1846. 14 Prize Medals 1S. ball & Co Rochester,N.Y. Set of Scrap Pi FUN SAneS ee BUS NANO GES caAPTT eats oa ASO OUL GAY SNdd T4aL NVlda9Nad PENCERIAN TEEL PENS] Are The Best comicbooks.com