Life — February 16, 1888 — page 15: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

AAT SENSORS AT MLL IT WAS A TRAGEDY. cc HAVE, you read my seven-act tragedy I left with you last week ?” asked young George Aristophanes, the leading American humorist, uncovering his head before the manager. ‘I have,” re- plied the great man, “but I don't see why you call it a tragedy. It reads more like a farce.” ‘Ah yes, but it is a tragedy, and a fearful one. You see, the idea is, we lock the doors, and the audience dies about the middle of the third act.” “Not if I can save them!” howled the indignant manager, who wanted to save his audiences to buy a steam yacht with them, and with one vicious stab he thrust a ten-dollar biil into the humorist’s hand. The unhappy man gave one horrified glance at it, recognized it, and fell dead upon the floor. ‘The manager calmly withdrew the fatal bill and sold the body to a neighboring medical college for $40. Everything always favors the manager that truly loves his audiences.—Burdette. A PARTY of men were discussing the various modes of electing members of a club, in Boston the other day, when George W. Towle said: ‘In the Round Table club the scheme is simplicity itself. ‘When at dinner, the president announces the name of the candidate. If it is received in silence, he is a member from that moment; but if any one says ‘Oh, h—!’ there is no election.— Ex. 99 Ir is rumored that Mr. Lowell is revising his courtship poem, in which ‘Zeke peeked thru the winder.” This particular line will read, “Ezekial glawnced through the casement, don’t cher know.” Mr. Lowell is either in England or will sail for there shortly.—Epock. CounsEL: Now, then. sir, did you; or did you not, threaten to kill the plaintiff ? ‘Witness; I did—— CounsEL: That willdo. The jury will notice the admission. Pree But I haven't finished. I was about to say that I ‘id — COUNSEL: Quite right to confess it. You may step down. Witness: Your Honor, I insist upon my right to finish the sentence. Jupce: Well! ‘Witness: I did—not.—Calcutta Times. Scene—dinner party at a rich bourgeois’ house. barrister recounting his career : ‘When I took my first brief, I was excited and nervous, especially as ny client was a consummate scoundrel—a bad egg, any way you took him. But then I was beginning my practice. He was a man of good family, the reputation of which would have been fatally tar- nished had he been convicted ; so I took the case and got the rascal off.” ‘After dinner enter an important personage, great friend of the host, who presents the lawyer to him. Great Personage, patroniz- ingly, ‘I do not need to be introduced to this gentleman; I met him long ago. In fact, I may say I gave him his first start in life. I was his first client.—Calcutta Times. Prosperous | | Packer’s Tar Soap | LADIES’ Will Cure Dandruff. FACT! The Domestic Mfg Co., Wallingford, Conn. covvmiexvup. CELEBRATED HATS ~— STYLES AND COLORS, ROUND HATS. 178 & 180 Fifth Ave., bet. 22d & 23d Sts., and 181 Broadway, near Cortland St., NEW YORK. Palmer House, Chicago. 914 Chestnut St., Phila. STERN BROS. SOLE IMPORTERS AND RETAILERS OF THE CELEBRATED AND WELL-KNOWN ALEXANDRE KID AND SUEDE GLOVES, (Formerly sold by A. T. Stewart & Co.) IN ALL THE MOST DESIRABLE LENGTHS WITH LARGE ASSORTMENTS OF LUPINS’ KID AND SUEDE GLOVES, THE BEST LOW PRICE KID GLOVES IN THE WORLD. GEO. MATHER’S SONS RINTING INK 60 JOHN STREET, N. Y. THIS PAPER IS PRINTED WITH OUR SPECIAL ° LIFE - INK. ae Gent’s Furnishing Goods, Smoking Jackets and Robes de Chambre, Umbrellas, Canes, Underwear, Pajamas, Neckwear, Mufflers, and Bath Robes, ée People of refined taste de- siring specially fine Cigarettes should use our Satin, Four in SeBONME Hand, Athletic and Cupid. PKSAE Straight Cut, Hand Made, vA from the best Virginia and XS); Turkish leaf, \ Peerless Tobacco Works. y Established 1846. 14 Prize W. S. Kimball & Co Rochester,N.Y. bi VERY LOW PRICES. 82 to 86 West 23d Street, 28 to 35 West 22d Street. LOXDBORG'S PERFUMES make appro- priate and acceptable gifts. They are put up in neat attractive pecesers of various styles, and are for sale by all dealers. LADD & COFFIN, PROPRIETORS AND MANUFACTURERS, 24 BARCLAY STREET, NEW YORK. g@ oul 2AV SNdd ‘TAaL NVldadONaAd GEENCERIA NI TEEL PENS Are The Best comicbooks.com