Life — January 26, 1888 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“Mhile there’s Life there’s Hope.” VOL. XI. JANUARY 26, 1888. No. 265. 28 West TWENTY-THIRD STREET, NEw York. Published every Thursday, $5.00 a year in advance, postage free. Single copies, 10 cents. Back numbers can be had by applying to this office. Vol. I., $1.50 per number; Vol. II., 25 cents per number ; Vols, III., IV., V., VI., VIL, VIIL, IX. and X. at regular rates. Rejected contributions will be destroyed unless accompanied by a stamped and directed envelope. Subscribers wishing address changed will greatly facilitate matters by sending old address as well as new. ECR versation with the House Committee of Foreign Affairs, in the course of which he divulged at least one important diplomatic secret. He intimated that he would like some- times to be more peremptory with those foreign persons whom he deals with, but that the truth was he hadn’t the means. And then he whispered to the committee-men that. our sea-front was practically bald-headed and toothless, and that our navy was inadequate; and however valiantly our war-vessels might hunt a shattered monster like Leary’s raft, it really couldn’t do much when it came to blows. These facts, the Secretary said, were no secret in England or any- where else, except in this country, and their actuality mili- tated against such a settlement of the fisheries question (for example) as the Maine fishermen desire. LIFE trusts that the committee-men had their memoran- dum-books with them and made notes of what the Secretary said. This journal never wakes in the morning without a feeling of grateful surprise that neither a British cannon-ball nor an Elevated Railroad train has invaded its tenement during the night. Itis time that steps began to be taken to eliminate this daily peril from our lives. * * * HEY say the Presbyterians are about to raise a million dollars to add to their fund for tired-out ministers, and their widows and orphans. Doubtless they will succeed, for they are rich and frequent as well as zealous, and this fund is intended to commemorate their American centenary. Some day, when the newspaper business and the sacrifices and devotion it involves are justly appreciated, Christians in com- fortable circumstances will welcome a call upon their surplus for the benefit of decayed journalists, and will regard the support of superannuated editors as a pious act and a privi- lege. But at present, we believe, Mr. Childs, of Philadel- phia, is the only great religious body that tampers with this work, and he only undertakes to provide for the veterans of his own sect. If the Presbyterians prove to be as good providers as Mr. Childs, they will set a glorious example to all their brethren, and, what is also to the point, their invest- ment may tend to lure a higher grade of shepherds to their flocks. Money-making ministers are not held in especial esteem, and yet a minister, as well as another man, may find comfort in anticipating a reasonable provision in old age, after a life- time of unselfish labor. * * * ANY men who read weekly in the newspapers the post-prandial addresses of President Depew, must have said to themselves many times, “ He works all day and eats and drinks all night. Will he go to physical smash, or have Mr. Evarts’ innards been duplicated ?” Such anxious questioners will be partly reassured by the exposition of Mr. Depew’s daily life and diet made by a newspaper man last week. It seems that the Central Hud- son orator has no cocktail before breakfast. That his first meal is business, seasoned with hot water, two eggs, toast, and a cup of tea; that he does not smoke four strong cigars in the morning, nor drink a bottle of claret for his lunch; that, on the contrary, his lunch is hardly less abstemious than his breakfast, and he does not go home by the zigzag route, nor even indulge at his club before dinner. He goes dtrectly home, it seems, and plays with his son until it is time to go to Delmonico’s, where he only eats two kinds of meat and drinks nothing but champagne, and not much of that. Some time during the night he goes to bed, and does not get up unreasonably early the next morning. It does not appear that he takes organized and methodical exercise, but, all things considered, Chauncey does well, and we have hopes that he will be spared to our sons. A sound man can have a good deal of fun with his head if he doesn’t try to have too much amusement with his stomach. And vice versa. It is the man who tries to have fun everywhere at once that goes under. Nature abhors that sort of concen- tration, and Nature always has her way in the end. * * * AYOR HEWITT says that if he could get five dollars a pound for butter his farm would pay. According to his showing his best crop is cobblestones, which he picks off from his fields and ships to New York. The Mayor is a good enough farmer, but his location is a mistake. South Africa is the place for him. There the pebbles are worth something. Raising cobblestones in New Jersey is simply an expense. comicbooks.com