Life — January 12, 1888 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PAT SeIGOORS AMT NvLLv [MPECUNIOUS MAN: I wish you would be so kind as to lend me five dollars. I'll pay you back in a few days. Canpip FRIEND: If you had asked me for the loan in a candid and straightforward manner I would have lent you the money, but asking me in the way you did causes me to distrust you. “«T don't understand you.” “You asked me to be so Ai7td as to lend you five dollars.” “yen” “If you had been candid you would have said to me: ‘Be so stupid, be such an ignominious ass, such a hopeless idiot as to lend me five dollars,’ and you might have got it."—Texas Si/tings. Jim. Woops, out in Kansas, rebuked a blasphemer and was immediately struck dead with lightning. This reads like a Sunday- school story turned wrong end on.—Detrott Free Press. Mana: Edith, can you tell me what “faith” is? EpitH (aged six years) : Oh, yes; it’s believing what you know isn’t true.—Harvard Lampoon. NOT EXACTLY IN ACCORD, Mc : What a delightful thing it would be if some one would invent a new figure for the german! Miss LakER (from Cincinnati): Wouldn't it! fully stout, as a race.—/udge. They're so aw- 27 A GENTLE COMPLAINT, FAIRFIELD, Conn. , Esq. : Dear Sir,—We have a large soiled Asiatic elephant visiting us now, which we suspect belongs to you. His skin is a misfit, and he keeps moving his trunk from side to side nervously. If you have missed an elephant answering to this description please come up and take him away, as we have no use for him. An elephant on a place so small as ours is more of a trouble than a convenience. I have endeavored to frighten him away, but he does not seem at all timid, and my wife and I, assisted by our hired man, tried to push him out of the yard, but our efforts were unavailing. He has made our home his own now for some days, and he has become quite de ¢rop. We do not mind him so much in the day-time, for he then basks mostly on the lawn and plays with the children (to whom he has greatly endeared himself), but at night he comes up and lays his head on our piazza, and his deep and stertorous breathing keeps my wife awake. I feel as though I were entitled to some compensation for his keep. He is a large though not fastidious eater, and he has destroyed some of my plants by treading on them; and he also leaned against our woodhouse. My neighbor—who is something of a wag—says I have a lien on his trunk for the amount of his board; but that, of course, is only pleasantry. Your immediate attention’ will oblige.—Simeon Ford, in Puck. ‘1 pon'r see why you should sneer at my engagement ring,” said the fair girl, with a flush of indignation on her cheek, as she faced the belle of the opposition town; “it’s a great deal prettier than the one you wore three years ago, and haven’t worn since !” ‘@No, dear,” replied her friend, with a cool, far-away look in her voice; ‘‘not prettier, but quite as pretty. It is the same ring.”— Puck, ERY ONE SHOULD TRY CELEBRATED HATS AND ROUND HATS. » bet. 22d & 23d Sts., and 181 Broadway, near Cortland St., NEW YORK. LADIES’ 12 Selected Samples for trial, post-paid, on receipt of ten cents, Ask for Perry's Planished Pens. IVISON, BLAKEMAN & CO., 759 sa35"52nn"*"* Palmer House, Chicago. 178 & 180 Fifth Ave. JOHN PATTERSON & CO.. Tailors and Importers, Patterson Building, Nos. 25 and 27 W. 26th St., NEW YORK. 914 Chestnut St., Phila. | People of refined taste de- siring specially fine Cigarettes should use our Satin, Four in Hand, Athletic and Cupid. Straight Cut, Hand Made, from the best Virginia and GEO. MATHER’S SONS RINTING INK BONBONS AND / CHOCOLATES. Novelties in Fancy Baskets and Bon- ; Turkish leaf. Peerless Tobacco Works. Established 1846. 14 Prize Medais W.S. Kimball & Co Rochester,N.Y. 60 JOHN STREET, N. Y. THIS PAPER IS PRINTED WITH OUR SPECIAL * LIFE + INK. bonnieres, suitable for presents. 863 Broadway, bet. 17th and 18th Sts., 150 Broadway, cor. Liberty St., NEW YORK. Te Cincinnatt, Commercta-Gazerre says: “ New York‘ Lire’ is keener than ‘Puncu,’ and not behind it in pictorial point and execution, The grouping of “Tux Goov Twines oF Lire! ina holiday book has yuite naturally come to be an annual matter, and much is the refined merri- ment and enjoyment scattered thereby. It is a brilliant combination of the best witty conceits of America.” THE GOOD THINCS OF LIFE. 1. First Series. From the issue of the first number to 1884. “ For an hour's good fun, no one can find ina long day's journey so much as is contained between these side-splitting covers.” —Pittsburg Chronicle- Telegraph. “ Exceedingly clever.” —New York Times. “The whole collection is a worthy exemplar of | American art-humor in its best moods.” —Phila- delphia Inquirer. 2. Second Series. During 1884-1885. “Not to be matched for point, wit, and excel- lent drawing, by any collection of sociely art in the world.” —Independent. “A great advance on what has hitherto been at tempted in the comic publications of our country.” —Boston Beacon. * Shows the same deftness of touch and keenness | of secial satire which have characterized our au | dacious contemporary." —Christian Union. | 8. Third Series. During 1885-1886. “ Eack new series is an improvement upon its predecessors. This number ts a notably bright | | one.” —Denver Tribune-Republican. | | “4 better lot of drawings representative of | | American society has never been brought to- | | gether.” —Art Amateur, N.Y. | | “Fer @ good laugh over genuine wit nothing | better can fe found in the literature of the day. San Francisco Bulletin. | PupuisHers. 4. Fourth Series. During 1886-1887. Now ready. Equals or surpasses any of the pre~ vious volumes. “ Thrice happy must be those to whom we are indebted for ‘Vix Goov Tunes oF Lire.’ ”—Bos- ton Advertiser. Each 1 vol., oblong quarto, with highly ornamen- tal and humorous design on cover in color and gold. Cloth, beveled boaras, gilt edges, Each $2.50. Each ‘series in a different color of cloth. AT ALL Bookstores, or will be sent to any ad- dress (at publishers’ expense) on receipt of adver- tised price, by MITCHELL & MILLER, PUBLISHERS OF ‘‘LIFE,’” on FREDERICK A. STOKES & BROTHER, 182 FIFTH AVE., NEW YORK. comicbooks.com