Life — December 29, 1887 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE CHUM KEEPS NEW YEAR'S DAY. I" was the first day of the new year, and the Chum, who is a clinger to old in- stitutions, as is shown by his regard for Kings, Queens, Emperors and Popes, made up his mind to keep it after the fashion of his forefathers, and make calls. The fact that this custom has fallen into innocuous desuetude in New York Society affected not the Chum in the slightest degree, He rises above all social rules, and even has the temerity to read the accepted journal of society with the cover on, Of course the first call was made on Queen Victor This gracious lady spreads a very limited table on New Year's Day, and as the first to come are the first to be served, the Chum felt it quite necessary to be on hand early. The Queen was simply dressed in a pongee garment given her by Clam-Chowda, of Jumpaboord, while that dusky impotentate was in town for the Jubilee last season, She received the Chum with her usual graciousness, asking him if he was sure he had wiped his feet on the mat before entering the audience chamber, The Chum assured Her Majesty that he had, and further added that he thought Her Majesty looked well, to which the gracious lady replied that she had heard that before and would be greatly pleased if the Chum would display some originality in his remarks. This the caller ‘at once proceeded to do by calling the Queen's attention to the fact that the season for swearing off had come around again, intimating that he would be pleased to make a record of the particular pomp or vanity which Her Majesty had resolved to do without. The Prince of Wales, who sat at his mother’s left, in token of the general frigidity of the atmosphere in his own immediate neighborhood, looked appeal- ingly at his mother and suggested that she try swearing off the throne for a while so as to give the “old man a chance,” to use his Royal Highness's own words. To this the Queen replied with a haughty smile, that she would continue to occupy England's front seat until the curtain rang down on the final scene, but she had resolved to swear off one pernicious habit, She had fully made up her mind to give up Jubilees—they were too costly. The Prince thanked his mother for giving him the hope of getting the crown before he reached the mature age of one hundred, burst into tears, and took the first train to London to lunch with John L. Sullivan. The Chum called next upon Mr. Carnot, the newly elected President of the French Republic. This gentleman was found in conversation with a representative of the French Presidential Insur- ance Company, arranging terms for a policy on Mr. Carnot's term of office, The two men were much excited over the premium ques- tion, Mr. Carnot thought that 50 per cent. of his salary ought to pay for his policy, but the agent who seemed to be a close student of French History, believed that with the whole Presidential salary paid into the coffers of his concern, the company would assume enormous risks in insuring Mr. Carnot office for six weeks, The matter was finally settled by Mr! Carnot’s agreeing to pay 75 per cent. of his salary and to keep Boulanger out of his Cabinet if the company would guarantee him his office or its cash equivalent for Mr. Grevy's unexpired term. When asked his intentions in the swearing off matter, Mr. Carnot stated that he had not considered the question fully, but he thought that with the Comte de Paris manifestoing in the West, Plon-Plon dittoing in the South, and Victor prancing along the Northern frontier, it would be well for France to swear off monkeying with Bismarck and whistling up war-clouds, ‘The King of Spain gave the Chum a hearty “ go0-goo” of welcome and avowed that petticoats were the bright particular v: intended to get along without this year, After giving an exhibition Spanish walk, in which the Queen Dowager materially assisted him, NEW YEAR'S DAY IN ATHENS. comicbooks.com