Life — December 8, 1887 — page 27: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

- LIFE: 333 invariably follows a kind word or a nod of recognition on Christmas morning. ‘ It must be added that my friend is wealthy and can afford this apparent extravagance. Fora Wife. There are some husbands who go so far as to state that they are doing enough for their wives if they pay for their own Christmas presents. This is not so. A woman may buy a handsome ivory button-hook for her husband to lace his boots with, and the husband may pay the bill when it comes home, but he assuredly is mistaken when he attempts to argue that his payment of fifteen dollars for a button-hook he cannot use is a sufficient reward for the hours of agonizing mental toil which his wife has undergone in order to bring the possi- bility of that button-hook into a state of reality, to say nothing of the days she has spent in the crowded button-hook stores looking for one that would be suited to her husband's wants. No! A ten per cent. commission on all purchases should be allowed the wife, if nothing else. The generous man might perhaps add to the commission an inlaid cigar-box or a statistical atlas, or any one of the little femininities that womankind so adore. The Family Physician. It seems to be a generally established custom nowadays for grate- ful patients to make costly presents'to their physicians. It is pleasant to note the generous spirit which pervades the relations of doctor and patient, but unless the latter be a bachelor or an old maid, I see no strong reason for this state of affairs. For a man with a large family of children, the best and most delicate way of remembering the phy- sician lies in permitting the children to eat all of the good things of Christmas they wish. Then let the physician be called in and reap his reward in an unostentatious way. For Clerks and Book-keepers. If you have a large force of clerks and book-keeper: your em- ploy, you are naturally desirous of contributing something to their happiness on Christmas day. A pen-wiper or a new piece of blotting- paper is always welcome. Some employers go so far as a box of red wafers or an ink-eraser, but it is not necessary to be so generous. For Husbands. The most gratifying present a wife can make her husband is a receipted dressmaker's bill. An article of this kind in the toe of a man’s sock causes more joy in the household than there would be over ninety and nine bills that need no receipting. . . * These seem to cover all the queries that have been ad- dressed to me up to date. Further information will be gladly imparted privately and at special rates, which will be fur- nished on application. All communications must be properly chaperoned by United States postage stamps uacancelled. No notice will be taken of cancelled stamps. Cholmondeley Harcourt. RAPID TRANSIT. ROWN: How long does it take you to go from the Bridge to your new place in Brooklyn, Robinson? RosiNnson (late of New York): By the elevated road fifteen minutes. St. Peter: Dip vou RIxG, siR? Brown : And how long on foot? Simpkins (not guite awake): AH—YES; CLAM CHOWDER, PLEASE. RoBINSON * About ten minutes. comicbooks.com