Life — December 1, 1887 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

- LIFE: EXTRA! YALE vs. PRINCETON AT FOOTBALL. ONLY THIRTY LIVES LOST! SIXTEEN WOUNDED! HE Princeton girl turned out in full force at the chief football contest of the season, which was played by Yale and Princeton on Saturday, November 19th, at the Polo Grounds, but she couldn't save the game for the yellow and black. The rain fell in a melancholy drizzle all through the afternoon, leaving the ground so unfortunately soft that the players were frequently saved from mortal injury by falling on sogxy turf rather than on the hard, frozen earth. This was the only drawback to the game. The grand-stand was crowded, and the drive surrounding the field was filled to its utmost capacity with coaches and carriages, laden with beribboned youths and fair-haired damsels, who, having learned that it was Princeton's intention to kill the Yale captain, were eager to see the sport. Precisely at two o'clock twenty-two young gladiators appeared gn the scene, and follow- ing close behind came twenty-two substitutes, followed in turn by tWenty-two deputy substi- tutes. It was evident that it was to be football to the death, and the respective colleges had apparently made up their minds to sacrifice the flower of their gymnasium to the God of Victory. After a little preliminary conversation, in which six substitutes and a referee were killed, the opposing forces took their places. It was then discovered that the ball had been left in the dressing-room, and ten minutes were spent in a parley between the half-backs of both teams as to whether a ball was necessary. According to the present methods of playing, both sides agreed thatthe ball was merely a formality and could be dispensed with ; but the referee decided that however nominal the duties of the ball were, it would establish a bad precedent to proceed without one. The players then agreed that this decision must be respected, although the referee himself was compelled to resign and leave the field with two legs and a neck Sroken, One of the audience, who was tired of life, was prevailed upon to accept the vacated office, and the ball being brought out, the game began. As the word for play was given, the Princeton team made a break for Yale's captain, and the Yale rushers laid themselves gently down upon a Princeton half-back. The referee called time, and the dead were removed toa temporary morgue beneath the grand-stand, At this point the score stood : Princeton, : : . 2 killed ; 3 wounded. Yale, ; : ; : : 1 6 According to the new rules, this put Princeton two points to the good, and the tiger- hiss Loom of the yellow and black caused two runaways among the tally-ho contingent. Game was again called, and in three minutes Yale secured a touch-down, By an unfortunate error the opportunity to score a goal was lost, as the Yale kicker was so excited that he propelled the man who held the ball between the posts, leaving the sphere on the field, where it was immediately seized and carried into the enemy's camp by a Princeton boy, who had three ribs broken, however, before he could score for his side. The wunfortu- nate man who was kicked through the goal-posts will be buried on Tuesday. At this point the physicians in charge expected the referee to live through the afternoon, but could give no hope beyond that. So the game proceeded. At 3.30 there were two members of Princeton's original team alive, while Yale was hardly more fortunate, having four members living, three of whom were at the point of death, Much merriment was caused in the second half by the Yale captain, who threw a Princeton rusher into the lap of Dr. McCosh, who was sitting on, the grand-stand, The captain's Nemesis appeared in the shape of a burly Princetonian, who spun him on his head, much to the delight of his parents, who occupied a tea-cart on the car- riage-way. The game was brought toa close by a magnifi- cent coup on Yale's part. The ball was thrown out among the horses by a Yale rusher, and the Princeton men, unanimously dashing after it, were run over by a New Haven coach filled with the heaviest men in the college, which happened most opportunely to pass that way. The referee, upon venturing to remonstrate, was thrown over the fence, and the Yale team proclaimed itself victorious on the survival of the fittest principle. Altogether, the contest was a memorable one, and the young lady who remarked that it was the most enjoyable massacre she had ever wit- nessed, probably spoke the truth, We are unable to give the exact score, as the gentleman who kept it died early in the game, and his manuscripts were so horribly mangled that they were undecipherable. To Yale, however, belongs the victor's crown, by a large majority. SCRAPS. “OMSTOC version reads thoni soit qui mal y pense.” In deference to Mr. Comstock the word nude will hereafter be printed n—de, and naked will appear as n—k—d. . . . LLA WHEELER WILCOX advises women not to wash their faces. The next thing we know Mrs. Wilcox will join the Anarch’s band. . . . DOG rarely points a moral, but he Fa frequently adorns a tale. “An- ELECTRIC SHADOWS. “BLess MY souL! NEVER SHAW HOLE MOVE AS THAT DOES; CAN'T GET ROUND IT,” comicbooks.com