Life — October 20, 1887 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

LIFE SAGACITY. OUNTRYMAN: Fi pounds too much for him? He's a won'er- ful good sportin’ daug. sir!) Why, he come to adead pint in the street, sir, close ag’in a ol gen'leman, the other day—'fust o' Septem- ber it'was, sir—and the gen'leman told me arterwards as his name were '* Partridge!” Customer: You don't say so! Bargain struck !—Punch. COMING OUT OF IT, Mrs, Densvape: You think it isn’t serious then, doctor ? Doctor Easemore: On the contrary, it's nothing but a slight swelling of the cerebral tissue, resulting from some trifling indiscre- tion. DENSUADE (in an insanity of gratitude and a loud whisper): Shay, Doc., tell her (hic-gl-gl) I never did sho again, an’ I'll nev’ do sho b'fore!— Puck, WHEN CUPID SNICKERED, Wicotxs (who has nerved himself (0 ask her papa's contend ; Sit have just returned from the concert—with Miss DeJones—and finding you alone— DeJones (of Chicago): That's all right, my boy—broke, eh? Here's a twenty. Her mother used to clean'me out the same way! —The Judge. 223 AGENT: On what grounds do you claim a pension ? AppLicant: Grandfather lost’ his health in the war of 1812, and left an impaired constitution to the family.—New Haven News. “ Isn't it dreadful,” asked Miss Lillybud, ‘to run over a man ?" “Yes, indeed, mum," replied the stoker of the express. “It jolts the engine up worse nor a cow,”"—Exchange. ‘HAVE you seen Mr, Mushbrain lately ?” asked the fair girl languid- ly of her gailant companion, young Tennisbat, of the Bank. ‘ Not for ages,” lisped the youth. ‘I understand he has made a mésalliance,”” said the weary beauty. ‘+I should like to see it," said Tennisbat, with a shade of animation, ‘I used to potter about my father’s park at home, and am somewhat of a mechanic myself."—San Francisco News-Letter. “THE fire in Colonel Doggerty’s wagon factory Wednesday even- ing,” says a Colorado paper, ‘was largely attended. Among the prominent society people who were present we noted Judge and Mrs, Vitherspoon, Senator and Mrs. Poindexter and daughter, Governor Standish, and Miss Van der Horck. Mrs. Senator Poindexter admin- istered a neat and deserved rebuke to one of the firemen early in the proceedings. Stepping up to a hoseman she touched his shoulder and said sharply : “Play it lower down, you red-headed chump—get it down where the fire is!_ You fellers ain't expected to put out the North Star!"—Chicago Tribune. RESENTING AN INSULT. Uncie Rastus (fo lawyer) : ob bein’ er thief, sah ? Lawyer : Well, yes, Uncle Rastus, to call a man a thief may be libellous. Who was the man ? Us : Hit wah de man dat I done stole de ham from, Kin I git er man ‘rested fo’ 'cusin’ me AS Some Prefer One Color, Some Another; [ewanoo’ Ss E£ STABLISHMENT MArvcmes any Coron, 17 Temple Place, Boston, and Cor. Fifth Ave. and West 14US¢ NY} LADIES’ CELEBRATED HATS ano ROUND HATS. 178 & 180 Fifth Ave., bet. 22d & 23d Sts., and 181 Broadway, near Cortland St., NEW voRK, Palmer House, Chicago. 14 Chestnut St., Phila. XIMBALL S SATIN Straight Cut Cigarettes, LADIES’ TAILOR, Habit Maker and Hatter, NEW YORK, 19 East 2{st St., 24 door East of Broadway LONDON, JAMES PILE & CO. 288-290 Regent St. BRIE People of refined taste who Lundbord’s }= ft Perfume 7 ire exceptionally fine cig- ttes should y Straight Cut, packets and boxes of tos, 208, gos, andicos, 14 Prise Medals, | NEWPORT, 176 Bellevue Ave. only our put up in satin WM. 8S. KIMBALL & Co. ' EDENIA. Lundbord's Rhenish Cologne. REGATTA SILKS FOR SALE BY LEADING HOUSES. THE BEST VALUE. CROSBY’S VITALIZED PHOSPHITES. Strengthens the intellect, restores lost functions, builds up worn-out serves, promotes good digestion, cures all weaknesses and nervousness. 96 Was ogra Sraxet, New Yoru. For Satz sy Daucersrs, on Mast, $1.00. comicbooks.com