Life — October 13, 1887 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

R AT SElSsoRS AT NvLLy REACHED THE LIMIT. ‘A DETROIT peddle of tinware took out some egg-beaters on his last trip, and as the price was only fifteen cents each, worked on a new principle, he calculated on big sales. Hi perience will answer for all others, He drove upto a farm-house in the western part of Wayne county, and took a. beater in to exhibit. ‘The people liked it exceedingly well, but the old farmer said : “Young man, T want to'see your patent.” “TL have none." “Then your written authority to make sales.” “Don't need any. “Then you must give me a bond, with two sureties, in the sum of $1,000, that you will stand between me and any trouble.” ** But I can’t do that.” “Then Ican't buy. I've just had to pay royalty on a drive well, damages for using an infringement on a patent gate, and have a law: suit about a hayfork and another over a windmill, and we don’t even buy a dishpan without a bond that it don’t infringe on somebody's patent bathtub."—Detroit Free Press. “To what do you attribute the curative properties of your spring ?” asked a visitor at a health resort. “* Well,” answered the proprietor thoughtfully ; ‘I guess the adver- tising I've done has had something to do with it."—Detrott Free Press. Iris said that when good Philadelphians die they go to Wana- maker's,— Puck, 209 A SAD CHICAG) ROMANCE. CHicaco Girt: So you are to be married next month ? more fortunate than I. My wedding has been postponed, Oana Girt: Why, are you engaged ? “Oh, yes. I was just ready to send out my cards when poor, dear George came in and said we would have to wait.” Yow awkward! What happened ?” “He hasn't got a divorce from his wife yet.” You are ONE CASHIER THAT IS SAFE. “1See you have anew cashier,” remarked the president of one bank to another. “Yes, we set him to work yesterday.” “Had any experience?” * Lots of it.'™ “ Under heavy bonds, I suppose. Our man is under $150,000," “Well, no; we did not require big bonds.” “Great heavens, man, he'll run off in two weeks with the whole bank.” “We have every confidence in him.” “Well, you'll pay dearly enough for it. of a month.” “Tthink not, You see, he has just run away from a Canadian bank with $200,000. I think he is safe enough."—Ainneapolis Journal. He'll be in Canada inside CLASS IN CIVIL SERVICE. ““Wuat are the people of Germany a ?" asked the new teacher. ‘* When?” asked the smart, bad “ Any time,” said the teacher, “‘allthetime.” ‘* Depends,” poled the s.b. b. * They’t re called Germans before election and Dutch after it, in this county.” And as that boy's father is a member of the Legislature, his word has much greater weight w with the pupils than the teachers. — Burdette. Have you used. Packer’s Tar Soap eH) COPYRIGETED. for Shampooing ? CELEBRATED HATS x0 ROUND HATS. | immense! ! 1! 178 & 180 Fifth Ave., bet. 22d & 3d Sts., and 181 Broadway, near Cortland St., NEW YorK, Palmer House, Chicago. It’s” “WatTer,” he said in quite a loud tone of HAKAUR LADIES’ TAILOR, Habit Maker and Hatter, NEW YORK, 19 East 2/st St., 2d door East of Broadway LONDON, 914 Chestnut St., Phila, JAMES PILE & co. voice, ** have you got any champagne on ice?" | ing me a bottle of—beer,” whispered the young man.—Drake's Magazine. packets ‘and $08, and1008. 74 Prise Medals, " XIMBALL'S SATIN i Beare. Straight Cut Cigarettes, People of refined taat® who desire exceptionally fine cig- arettes should use only our 288-200 Kegent St. NEWPORT, t, put up in eatin 176 Bellevue Ave. oxes of 108, 208, SPENCERIAN H | 26 SELECTED PENS | SENT FOR TRIAL, POST PAID, = TWENT. wie frwarded gras oo apn F. AD. RICHTER & Co, 0, AROADWAY or LONDON F.C. OAV PLACE FENCHUNCH STREET. we crs.| AY th CROSBY’S VITALIZED PHOSPHITES. Strengthens the intellect, restores lost functions, builds up worn-out serves, promotes good digestion, cures all weaknesses and nervousness. $6 Wast ecrw Srxant, Naw Yous. PENS | Ivison, Blakeman & Co, 703 & 755 Broadway, NEW YORK. \STEEL For Sarz sv Drucarsrs, on Mam, §1.00. comicbooks.com