Life — October 6, 1887 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A GLORIOUS SUCCESS. OW do you like your new typewriter?" inquired the agent. “It's immense!" was the enthusiastic response, ‘1 “wonder how I ever got along without it *Well, would you mind giving me a little testimonial to that effect?" * Certainly not; do it gladly.” So he rolled uphis sleeves and in an incredibly short time pounded out this :— “afted Using thee automatig Back-action atype writ, er for thre emonth$an d Over. I unhesittatti pronounce it prono nce it to be al ad even more than the Manufacturs claim? for it. During the time been in our posession e. i, th ree monthz! id has nore than than paid paid for it$elf in the Saveing oF time an d labrr john £ Snith, “There you are, sir.” “ Thanks,” said the agent dubiously.— New York Sun. You can't always judge by appearances. The man who wears a diamond pin may be really wealthy.—Lowell Citizen. BRIC-A-BRAC. “BRIGHT things fell from Bessie's lips,” in Mrs. Holmes's last novel, probably means that Bessie dropped the gold filling out of her teeth. — Rahway Advocate. SHE WAS A LITILE NERVOUS. Ovo Lapy : Conductor, there ain't going to be a collision, I hope. CoNnucToR : I guess not. Otp Laov : I want you to be very keerful ; I've got two dozen eggs in this basket.— 7exas Si/tings. WHAT TO TAKE TO PICNICS, She: Are you going to the picnic on Tuesday, George ? He: Oh, yes. SHE (orth feeble indifference): Alone, George ? He I shall take an umbrella.—£x. THE PROBLEM SOLVED. Oxt of the contemporary poets asks: ‘' Where are the bright girls of the past?" Our own observation is that some of them are administering cautious doses of paregoric to the bright girls of the future,—Phuudelphia Press. POLITENESS EXTRAORDINARY, Tur Saxons are a very polite people, so over polite that they not infrequently bring down ridicule upon themselves. It used to be told in Dresden that a stranger in the city was one day crossing the great bridge that spans the Elbe, and asked a native to be directed to a cer- tain church which he wished to find. ** Really, my dear sir,” said the Dresdener, bowing low, “I grieve to say it, but [cannot tell you.” The stranger passed on, a little surprised at this voluble answer to a simple question. He had proceeded but a few rods when he heard footsteps behind him, and, turning, saw the same man running to catch up with him, In a moment his pursuer was by his side, his breath nearly gone, but with enough left to say: * My dear sir, you asked me how you could find the church, and it pained me to have to say that I did not know, Just now | met my brother and asked him, but I grieve to sty he did not know either."—£: — Sane Prefer OneColor, | Some Rnother; | [ewanoo's ESTABLISHMENT, LADIES’ ROUND HATS. Marcmes any Coron 17 Temple Place, Boston, and Cor. Fifth Ave. and West /4US¢ NY’ CUS Seem People of refined taste who EYEE desire exceptionally fine cig- arettes should use only our ‘Straight Cut, put up in satin packets and boxes of 108, 208. $08, and 1008. 14 Prise Medals WM.S, KIMBALL & CO MUSIC BOXES the Stundara and Light Operas | CELEBRATED HATS AND 19 East 2ist St., 178 & 180 Fifth Ave., bet. 22d & 23d Sts., and 181 Broadway, near Cortland St., see vont Kan LONDON, LADIES’ TAILOR, Habit Maker and Hatter, NEW YORK, ad dour East of Broadway ore Chestnut St., Phila. JAMES PILE & CO., 28K-200 Kegent St. NEWPORT, 176 Bellevue Ave. ARE JHE BEST: REGATTA SILKS and the most Popular Music of the Day. Send stamp for Descriptive Price List to M. J. PAILLARD & C0., 680 Broadway. New York City. ; | (Factory at STE. CRUIX, SWITZERLAND.) | THE BEST VALUE. FOR SALE BY LEADING HOUSES. CROSBY’S VITALIZED PHOSPHITES. Strengthens the intellect, restores lost functions, builds up worn-out aerves, promotes good digestion, cures all weaknesses and nervousness. sh West acre Sraan, Naw Yous. For Sate sv Devoaists, ou Mam, $1.00 comicbooks.com