Life — September 22, 1887 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

HIS MASTER'S SOBER REQUEST. THE policeman had given his testimony, which was unqualifiedly tothe fact of the old gentleman's intoxication. servant was called to the stand. he came home. “You say that Mr. “Yes, sir.” Did he get to bed alone?" wut him to bed ?” ‘ And he was perfectly sober ?" “Yes, sir.” + What did he say when you put him to bed?” He said * good night." Anything else ?" “* He said as how I was to call him early.” “ Anything else 2” “Yes, sir.” What was it? be the Queen of the May !" The old man was fined.—Boston Transcript, There was a mingled expression of indignation and determination on his countenance. He testified flatly, to the surprise of the court room, that the old man was sober when * The prosecuting attorney proceeded to question : was sober when he came home ?” Tell us exactly what he said, every word." “ He said as how I was to wake and call him early, for he was to TRICK, do you know that you talk too much ?” i do, sor.” “Well, if youd make it an unvarying rule to keep your mouth shut, don’t you think you'd get along better ? “Faith, sor, Ord starruv to death, sor."— Washington Critic, Then the old ao ee eee World. Henry Georce: My dear, this steak is burnt to a crisp. Mus. Georck: Mercy me! So it is. ‘And the potatoes are not half done.” ‘And the bread is sour, and in fact there is not a thing fit to eat, and T'm_as hungry as a bear. with yourself all the morning ? a {ye been swinging in the hammock, dear, dreaming about how lovely,everything will be when your millennium gets here.""—Omaha What on earth have you been doing Mrs. Bionson: What's that? Oh, horrors! The hotel afire ? Yes; come on. But here I am in my night-dress ! Good enough ! ball dress and into something decent.— We've no time to lose. I'm glad you've got out of your —Burlington Free Press. Omana CHILD: Mamma, Mary says her father is an Irish-Ameri- can an’ she’s awful stuck up about it. Mamata: Well ? ** And Gretchen says her father is a German-American an’ she's awful stuck up, too." 3 refer One Color, Some Another; S ESTABLISHMeE MArcwes any Coron: 17 Temple Place, Boston, and Cor. Fifth Ave. and West 140S¢ NY THE WINE OF TNEIDEER Ps VES, LAGE RICH, EXTRA ORY, OR BRUT. - DuVivierxCo. 49 Broao St, New Yorx. FINE ‘Wines, Branoies xc. And Marie is bragging because her father is a French-American.” “I can't help that, dear.” Well, isn’t there anything I can brag of ?"* You are only an American,"—Omaha World. CELEBRATED HATS ano LADIES’ ROUND HATS. 178 & 180 Fifth Ave., bet. 22d & 23d Sts. and 181 Broadway, near Cortland St.. new York. Palmer House, Chicago. 9t4 Chestaut St., Pile "THE ENGADINE Bouguet, Atkinson's New Perfume, This supert distillation sweetly recalls (ragrant Swiss flowers Bright jewels in a setting of perpetual snow. wanienORES pce DRESSING As itwitt NOTINJURE them} LADIES’ TAILOR, Habit Maker and Hatter, NEW YORK, 19 East 2!st St:, 2d door East of Broadway LONDON, JAMES PILE & CO., 288-200 Regent St. NEWPORT, 176 Bellevue Ave. XIMBALL 8 SATIN Straight Cut Cigarettes. People of refined taste who desire exceptionally fine cig- a should use only our ht Cut, put up in satin ts and boxes of tos, 208, Sos, and 1008. 14 Prise Medalt. wm. 8. KIMBALL & Co. “CROSBY'S VITALIZED PHOSPHITES. Strengthens the intellect, restores lost functions, builds up worn-out nerves, promotes good digestion, cures all weaknesses and nervousoess. 96 Wasr asru Sraet, Naw Yorx, Vou Satz sv Davocists, om Mart, $1.00 comicbooks.com