Life — September 8, 1887 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

LIFE abe AT SERS AT NLL BLOOD WILL TELL. CHARLIE, aged eight, brought home a slinking yellow pup, bow-legged, drooping-tailed and shamefaced. He cared for it tenderly, fixed a dry goods box in the back yard for a kennel, and on every possible occasion exhibited the animal proudly. His sister Ella, aged 18, asked him fastidiously : “Where did you get that dog ?” “T bought him from a man for twenty-five cents,” of ownership. 7 Mercy ! beast !” Charlie’s eyes flashed indignantly, how much a girl knows. —American Portfolio. with the pride The idea of paying twenty-five cents for that horrid “He isn't horrid. That sho The man told me he is a full blooded cur. First Omatta Man: Eureka! I've struck it at last. invention. Millions in it { Seconp OMAHA MAN: I don't take much stock in patents “Yes, but this one is a dead-sure thing. It is a hand-organ modeled after the automatic race-tracks you see in hotels.” “Won't pay “Ti have them everywhere, and will rake in thousands of dollars aday. Everybody who comes along will drop a nickel into it.” “Dropping a nickel into it starts it to playing, I suppose.” “No, that stops it."—Exchange. It's a new To Tourists, Travelers and Sportsmen. BSENCE from home always brings its annoy- ances, especially in the matter of insuring a supply of clean linen. The simplest way to secure this, and to feel that tesh and spotless collar or pair of cuffs is always wpoly of what are called N vey are comfortable and qentecland thet many advantages are obvious to the experienced traveler. While it is not our desire to sell the LINENE goods direct to the consu- mer, we shall at any time be most happy to send samples, A sample collar and pair of cufis is seat to any address on receipt of six cents, when goods can- pot be obtained elsewhere. Illustrated Catalogue free. Address the Lapies' REVERSIBLE COLLAR CO., 27 Kilby Street, - - Mosto CELEBRATED HATS | AND ROUND HATS. 178 & 180 Fifth Ave., bet. 22d & 23d Sts.. and 181 Broadway, near Cortland St., 139 “On, no, ma‘am," pleaded the tramp, “you may think my life all sunshine, but it ain't. Wherever | go I am beset with dangers. In short, ma'am, I carry my life in my hands.” “Ah, I see! exclaimed his temporary hostess, “that accounts for your not washing your hands. You don't dare to do it for fear you'll drown yourself. '—Boston Transcript. Ax exchange telling of a man who fell overboard, winds up by saying : He had been in the water about an hour, when a schooner from Baltimore came along, heard his cries, and picked him up wet and fatigued.” It is easy to believe that the man should be fatigued after an hour's paddling in the water, bi when the writer informs us that the poor fellow was also wet, his pitiable condition is depicted in colors that are graphic as well as ‘glowing, and one’s sympathies are drawn to him as they never could have been had he managed to keep dry all the time.—Zaston Transcript. “THe night watchman awoke when the roof fell in,” says a con flagration despatch. If it were not for the wakefuiness of night watchmen, a great deal of property would be destroyed.—Lowistille Courier-Journal. LEGAL CLEARNESS. “My good woman,” said the learned judge, “you must give an answer, in the fewest possible words of which you are capable, to the plain and simple question whether when you were crossing the street with the baby on your arm and the omnibus was coming down on the right side and the cab on the left and the brougham was trying to pass the omnibus, you saw the plaintiff between the brougham and the cab, or whether and when you saw him at all, and whether or not near the brougham, cab and omnibus, or either, or any two, and which of them respectively—or b how was it ?"—£x, | LADIES’ TAILOR, Habit Maker and Hatter, NEW YORK, 19 East 2ist St., \ ad door East of Broadway vHe Une oF RICH, EXTRA DRY, OR BRUT. *DuVivierxCo. 49 Baoao St, New York. Fine Wines, BRANDIES BC. Naw YORK. Palmer House, Coles: 914 Chestout St., Phila. TME ENGADINE Bouquet, Atkinson's New Perfume, This superb distillation sweetly recalls fragrant Swiss flowers. Bright jewels in a setting of perpetual snow. cE sx he tar BY [ico es aoe QOD = r >< SHoes-> sot | Wuirtc MOVES oGe one ssING Asitwitt VOT INJURE them| ~ WO OR LONDON, JAMES PILE & CO., 288-200 Regent St. NEWPORT, 176 Bellevue Ave. XIMBALL'S SATIN Straight Cut Cigarettes. P People of refined taste who LSER desire exceptionally fine cig- es should use only our Straight Cut, put up in sati packets and boxes of tos, §08, and 1008. 14 Prize Medals, WM.S. KIMBALL & CO. CROSSY’S VITALIZED PHOSPHITES. Strengthens (the intellect, restores lost functions, builds up worn-out nerves, promotes jrodd digestion, cures all weaknesses and nervousness. 36 Wast esr Sree cr, New Yorx. For Sate sv Devoaists, om Man, $1.0 comicbooks.com