Life — August 25, 1887 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

DIVES. H E pays ten thousand dollars for his German opera box, And twice as much he’s dropped upon a “little spec in stocks.” ‘Twelve hundred golden coins he spent upon a Brewster Brougham, And sixty thousand more has gone toward furnishing his home. How much he spends upon his horse he never seems to know, But ‘tis his wont to tell his friends ** the mare makes money go.”” He calls himself ‘Art's Patron,” and he quite makes others faint When he matches fabled treasures ‘gainst a little bit of paint; But while he thus expends his gold and never tries to hoard it, In charity he'll ne'er indulge. He ‘‘ really can’t afford it.” . . . HE Western Union Telegraph Company is a great sufferer from humidity. . . . HE Republican papers rejoice over the Luce manage- ment of Canadian affairs. . . . Pues FIRE INSURANCE is pretty low, but it ought to rise agai . . ° E beg Judge Potter to remember that another reason for believing Jacob Sharp a guilty man is that the good die young. . . . ONSIDERING the vast quantities of snow in Russian territory, it is quite appro- priate that Count Schouveloff should be given so important a position as Russian Ambassa- dor to Berlin, . HE scienzists who have been convening for a week at Columbia College have decided that the recent humidity was due to water in the atmosphere. What would we do without scientists ? . . . E call Inspector Williams's attention to the projection of a Wagner society in this city. It is well to nip disorderly conduct in the bud, and the Inspector is offered an opportunity to make a record. . ° . E submit to the New York Sfar that the publication of designs suitable for soda-water fountains, as possibly available for the Grant Monument, is likely to retard the progress of the subscription fund. CORES AND EFFECT. E are requested to announce that when Mr. Blaine danced on the green in Scotland he by no means jumped on the Irish, It is well that this should be thoroughly understood at this stage of the boom. F the contempt of the Amerjcan public for Mr. Riddle- berger could be measured by the days they would spend in jail for it, the American public would be incarcerated until the trump of Gabriel is heard in the land. FR a thorough digestion of the news in all the papers we are prepared to state that in spite of Bright's disease, torpid liver, heart trouble, gout, baldness, and tired feelings generally, Mr. Blaine is in unusually robust health. . . . UR esteemed contemporary, the 7rzéune, announces with becoming modesty that its London correspon- dent's manner is “ inimitable.” After all, we have a great deal to be thankful for. HE Svar enlivens its pages with suburban notes, under such titles as “ Tarrytown Tickers,” “ Peekskill Pearls,” and “ Sing Sing Snaps,” The last is peculiarly appropriate, since Sing Sing has begun snapping up so many of our distinguished citizens. N item now going the rounds of the press says that General Mahone has been gaining in flesh to the extent of twenty pounds. The General must weigh as much as thirty- seven pounds now. . . . A SPANISH officer has invented a war-boat that will stay under water four days. The U.S, Navy has no use for this man. What is desired in this county is a war-boat that will stay above water for that length of time. . * . HE Tribune says tha. Mr. Allen Thorn- dyke Rice’s plan for Electoral Reform is sure to provoke discussion—which is pre- cisely what Mr. Rice wants. It would seem as if Mr. Rice’s management of the Vorth American Review had provoked so much discussion that Mr. Rice would never want to hear any more of it. There is no accounting for taste. comicbooks.com