Life — August 25, 1887 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

108 ECHOES FROM LONG BRANCH. OUR correspondent reached this balmy resort last evening. He has been promising himself the pleas- ure of a trip to Long Branch for years—in fact, it bears a strong resemblance to the promised land in many respects, only Moses seems to have got here. The leading lights of the place are chiefly Israelites. There is not so much jew desprit about Long Branch as there is esprit de jew ; but after all I am inclined to believe that there is a great deal that’s genuine about the Hebrews, and, barring their dia- monds, which keep a great deal of money out of circulation, I rather like them. They are more Christian-like in a great many respects than the copper-riveted Christian who goes to church every Sunday, rain or shine, to get points on futures and put ten per cent. of the proceeds of his stock speculation into the plate. Up to this point I have not heard a sing'e or married Israelite rejoice at the accumulation of iawsuits against Judge Hilton, although a large number of my Gentile acquaintances seem rather glad that the pretender to the throne of the Stewarts must account for his magnetic influences, over the mighty dollar. The fashions at the Branch this year are largely reminis- cent, due to the bad state of trade in the clothing business last year. Merchants must cover themselves in some way, even if their sons and daughters have to wear the old stock. The king of the dudesshas been the only relief to the eye in this respect, and even he has cut his trouser allowance down to fourteen pairs a day. 1 am reminded by this that the trade phrase, “ It fits like paper on the wall,” has been superseded by a better and more significant embodiment of the same idea, which runs, “ It fits like the trousers on the Wall,” which, as a colored waiter at the West End cleverly remarks, is a “ Berry good fit.” While bathing yesterday afternoon my old friend Solomons introduced mé to his mother-in-law, Mrs. Minzesheimer, who, forgetting that she was up to her neck in water, curtesied, and inadvertently ducked her head beneath the waves, much to the detriment of her cheeks, which a moment before had been as ‘LIFE: rosy as the dawn, and which emerged from the water in a striped condition, highly suggestive of the American flag. Solomons attempted to console her, but the old lady recovered her equanimity, and, laughing at her mishap, assured us that “Itvas no diffurence. Blenty more vere dot come from an’ only a kerworter a box.” Among other prominent people the Guggenheimers of Philadelphia are here. They are very great entertainers and gave a dinner last night which the host told me cost as much as two dollars a head. Last week they had a charade party, to which a literary turn was given by the titles of books being taken as the subjects represented. “ Allan Quater- main" was shown in three acts, the first consisting of a large cart with every performer seated in it, representing the All- In. Then Mr, Minzesheimer held up a twenty-five cent bit and a piece of water-pipe for the Quatermain. Every one guessed the Quater part but the other two-thirds was too much for them. Thenthey had an uproarious little baby tied up in red tape to represent a bound volume of Lire, which was received with great applause. Indeed, the whole affair was a great success and only cost Mr. Guggenheimer fifteen dollars, including the supper and the wear on the carpet—so Mrs. Guggenheimer informs me. Altogether Long Branch is most enjoyable. The spirits of the people are infectious, and I would stay here for the rest of the summer, if it were not that the action of the waves during the bathing washing on a gold ring which | have promised never to take off, subjects me to a loss which I do not feel able to bear. I must leave for a cheaper clime where constant bathing is not required. I think I shall go to Chicago. CH. IT WAS PERFECT THEN. ONES: The Century is a mighty fine magazine, eh, J Topper ! Topper (sadly): Yes; but you should have scen it before the war. * Stay near me, Tommy.” has gone to.” ‘Now, I wonder where that boy “Ah, here you are!" comicbooks.com