Life — August 18, 1887 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A BIRTHDAY REVERIE. ELL, Dick, there you are, agéd thirty to-day — You've changed some, old chap, beyond doubt ; Your once raven locks are mingled with gray, And your cheek-bones begin to stick out. Quite ruddy your nose, likea sunset in fall, Whilst your necktie is hanging awry ; One can see that your coat has no buttons at all, ‘And you're deucedly bleared in the eye. Who would think to behold you, that four years ago You were known as the pride of the Hill, That instead of stale beer you sipped Chateau Margaux; Then how small seemed a ten dollar bill ! You've led ‘* germans,” old boy, and quadrilles by the score ; Your voice was a basso, quite mellow. How your friends, heaven bless ‘em ! would force an. encore When your bow warnied the heart of your ‘cello. At Newport, and Long Branch, and Europe, old man ! You have passed the most glorious hours With Rose Fielding the flirt, and dear Florence Anne, And May Somers, and sweet ‘Delia Powers. May Somers, you rascal ! you liked best of all— Nay, don’t blush, it is time ‘twere confessed, How sweetly she looked at the Munniton’s ball, And how jealous she made all the rest. She passed you in silence on Broadway to-day, And her dress rustled ‘gainst your old coat ; No wonder you turned your head quickly away, And less wonder for lumps in your throat. She's engaged, so they say, to young Dighton at last— Your old college chum, by the way : Would to God we could veil the sad ghosts of the past In the tears that we shed day by day ! What, a tear in your eye? quickly brush it away, It's too late now to mourn o'er days dead. There's a quarter to earn ere the close of the day, Or else you'll go hungry to bed. So toddle along, again make an appeal, And pray heaven you move some kind heart. You are thirty to day, Dick—and wanting a meal, It’s a wonder your heart-strings don’t part. M.A, Woolf, A HINT TO THE BOARD OF HEALTH. | Dees the World's recent analysis of milk sold in this city, we concluded to make an analysis of the article ourselves. Going into a place and buying a glass of milk, we analyzed it with the following result : Milk, 200 per cent.; water, 300 per cent.; chalk, 50 per cent.; ice, 30 per cent.; brandy, 15 per cent.; egg, 20 per cent.; straw, 7 per cent.; nutmeg, 5 percent. Think of that, ye chemists of the World, and all in one little glass! What would a gallon can of milk be? Surely the Board of Health should look into this milk business. HE DON'T WORK FOR NOTHING. 73 URORA,” said old Sol, as he sunk into his easy-chair after the labors of the day, “1 wish you'd open a bottle of champagne. I'm quite fagged out.” “ The wine's going very fast,” remarked his prudent part- ner, as she complied with his request; ‘can we afford all this ?"” “ Bah!" responded Sol; “of course. I've stood in with all the ice companies and the laundrymen this summer. Just wait till my fall dividends come in, and you'll see.” comicbooks.com