Life — August 11, 1887 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

SeIS§RS AT NvLLv re BETTER LATE THAN NEVER, MRS. FLAHERTY: Phwat's this, Mrs, McGuinness? Ye're but t just married to a second husband and it's comin’ out in a new mournin’ dress ye are! Mrs. MCGUINNEss : Oj alwiz mint to wear mournin’ for poor Mike, but O1 niver had the money till now. McGuinness is well fixed, praise the saints !— 71d Bits, LitTLe Dick: I don't want to do that. OMAHA MaMaA: But you must. “Why 2” “Because I say $0." “What's the reason I have to mind you? I ain't your husband.” —Omaha World. VistTor (to Flossie): And how is the baby to-day, Flossie ? Flossie: Mamma thinks he is a little better. Visttor : Then he is not much better ? Fiossig: No, ma'am. He couldn't be ve know, because he is such a little bit of a baby.—£x. Wire (0 husband who has just returned from a visify: So you intend to go back again some time ? Huspanp : Yes. Wire: You must have felt perfectly at home. Huswaxp: Oh, no; I enjoyed myself very much.—Arkansaw Traveler. much better, you 83 MISPLACED SYMPATHY. BENEVOLENT GENTLEMAN (to intelligent engineer): Life on the rail must be very trying on the nerves, it is so full of peril. INTELLIGENT ENGINEER : You're right, sir, it is, A man has to be on the constant lookout, and even then accidents will happen. About every month or so I run down a man or two. Oh, it's horrible ! BENEVOLENT GENTLEMAN : (emphatically) : It must’ muss up the track fearfully.—New Orleans Times-Democrat. AxoTHen ship belonging to our navy is falling to pieces, this time at Panama, and it is thought that the crew will have to come home afoot by the way of the City of Mexico and Texas. It is beginning to be the saddest sight in Washington to see the Secretary of the Navy go down to the dock and put a trunk-strap around every vessel before it starts out on a voyage. But he has to do it.—Datota Bell. PECULIAR ANATOMY, “Tat is rather a shabby pair of trousers you have on for a man in your position.” “Yes, sir; but clothes do not make the man. What if my trousers are shabby and worn? They cover a warm heart, sir."—S¢. Louis Sunday Critic. THINGS ARE NOT WHAT THEY SEEM, “Mave just returned from the ice-cream saloon with your daughter, sir, whom I have left in the parlor,” said the young man, nervously, “and—and—may I say a word to you, sir?” “Certainly, certainly,” responded the old gentleman, with hearty encouragement." Go right ahea “Thanks. I want to ask you, sir, if—if you could lend me five cents to ride up to Harlem with."—. VY, Sun. To Tourists, Travelers and Sportsmen. BSENCE from home always brings Yts annoy- ances, especially in the matter of insuring a ply of clean linen. Phe simplest way to secure this, and to feel that ind spotless collar or pair of cuflsis always is to keep a supply of what are called LINENE"* goods. They are comfortable and 1, and their many advantages are obvious to perienced traveler. While it is not our desire E goods direct to the consu- mer, we shall at any time be most happy to send samples. A sample collar and pair of cuffs is sent to any address on receipt of six cents, when goodscan- | | IFRAKAVER, LADIES’ TAILOR, Habit Maker and Hatter, Bellevue not be obtained elsewhere. Illustrated Catalogue free. Address the REVERSIBLE COLLAK CO., 27 Kilby Street, - - Boston, Muss, Paillard’s MUSIC They play selections from all the Standard and Light Operas and the most Popular Music of the Day. i Send stamp for Descriptive | Price List to M. J. PAILLARD & 60., | 680 Broadway, New York City. | (Factory at STE. CROIX, SWITZERLAND.) | 178 & 180 Fifth Ave., bet. 22d & 23d Sts.. CELEBRATED HATS AnD LADIES’ ROUND HATS. and 181 Broadway, near Cortland St., NEW YORK. Palmer House, Chicago. 914 Chestnut St., Phila. THE ENGADINE Rooguet, Atkinson's New Perfume, This superb distillation sweetly recalls fragrant Swiss flowers. Bright jewels in a setting of perpetual snow, Ps are! MORE GILTE [Asitwilt NOTINJURE the DGE DRESSING pac $08, Straight Cut Ave., Newport AnD 49 Bast 24st St., N.Y. Riding Habits cut on new safety principles. Braided Gowns, Coats, Jackets and Ulsters in original designs. Riding Hats from the lead~ ing London Manufacturers. XIMBALL’S SATIN Straight Cut Cigarettes, ‘eople of refined taste who iE desire exceptionally fine cig- tes should use only our put up in satin ‘kets and boxes of 108, 208, 1008. 14 Prise Medals, ‘Wh. 8. KIMBALL & CO. CROSBY’S VITALIZED PHOSPHITES. Strengthens the istellect, restores lost functions, builds up worn-out nerves, promotes good digestion, cures all weaknesses and nervousness. 36 Wast ecra Srazet, Naw Yorx. For Satz sy Deucaisrs, om Man, $1.00 comicbooks.com