Life — July 28, 1887 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A PERMANENT BOARDER, I SAW her ad. in SUMMER Haunts. While sweltering in my office dreary ; Temptation lurked in every line, For me, so overworked and weary. “* Pure milk, fresh berries, shady drive: With boat and bath, and fish close by ;" What wonder that I snapped the bait ! "Twas last July. I I summered in that rural place, Where sylvan charms and scenes were plenty ; My hostess, buxom Widow Grace ; Her only daughter, one-and-twenty ; Croquet and tennis, rambles free With Laura of the roguish eye ; Time floated past on gilded wings, Bat last July ! Mt within that self-same place, the world with jaundiced vision ; For vanished is the tender grace Which last year rendered life elysian ; I drive the cattle, trundle trunks, Chop wood, pick berries, cradle rye ; I'm Laura's spouse, the widow’s son, This bleak July! To-d I vie 1 7 Simnese THE USES OF ADVERTISING. Petrified Bummer: Yiu STICK TO STRAIGHT WHISKEY HERE- AFTER, SUCH THINGS CAN'T LIVE IN ALCOHOL. T hot spell seems to have affected every body but the New York Nine, which organization plays as bad ball with the mercury at 99° as when it fondly dallies in the seventies, It is stated by those who know, that there is but one thing that can keep the Giants from winning the eighteenth place in the race, and that is that there are but nine clubs in the league. Philadelphia is playing up, but it is a hopeless struggle, and the championship pennant may be set down as one of the few articles that cannot be had at Wannamaker'’s. . * . LEARN on reliable authority that Stagg, Yale's phenom- enal pitcher, is going into the Church. This is not un- natural. The diamond is a by no means bad training-school for the pulpit, and whether Mr. Stagg act as first base in the choir, or indulge in more active participation in stealing the base from Satan, I am sure he will succeed. . -* * HE English athletes who are expected shortly to visit our shores, are to wear the colors of the Manhattan Athletic Club in the championship contests, This is hardly a matter for the Manhattan Club to be proud of. If that organization is incapable of winning the all-around championship without the aid of imported athletes it should hide its diminished head, and the National Associa- tion of amateur athletes should at once proceed to put a pro- tective tariff on the athletic product of foreign soil. . . * HAT consternation there would be in Boston if the New York Yacht Club should import a British yacht to enable us to retain the America’s cup. . . “ INCOLN, Nebraska, having lately organized a baseball nine, a prominent citizen of that town writes to ask if we think the Century Magazine would care to have a photograph of its members for Messrs. Hay & Nicolay's “ Life of Lincoln.” We herewith submit the question to the Editor of our ad- mired contemporary, . * . VERY entertaining pastime for persons unable to leave town is called the Mercury High Jump. It may be played by any number of persons, each with a thermometer cooled by means of ice until the mercury registers thirty-two degrees. This point reached they are placed on orchestra chairs in any one of our Summer theatres, and the mercury getting to 102° first wins the prize. This, next to guessing what is the matter with the Weather Bureau, and calculating by means of mathematics how much more of a blatherskite General Fairchild will be next week than he is this, is the most popular indoor game of the month. Geo. W. Me. comicbooks.com