Life — July 21, 1887 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

SeI9SORS AT NVLLy PROBABLY NOT. a TAT $5 there a martyr who can In hist'ry’s painful annals, With him whose wife still makes him wear His heavy winter flannels ? —Cleveland Sun and Voice. Gust (at summer hotel): Who is that distinguished looking young man wiping dishes ? PROPRIETOR: ‘That.is Mr. Emerson Tracy Bancroft, who de- livered the magnificent oration on “* The Ideality of Life” at Yalemouth commencement.—Burlington Free Press. TueRe is less originality in profanity than in anything else. as old as sin.—New Orleans Picavune. H. W, Riper, of Portland, Me., who has passed forty-nine summers in the White Mountains, tells a story about Henry Ward Beecher. Mr. Beecher once drove a passenger wagon from the Twin to the Crawford, just for fun, In turning around, his team became tangled up and his wagon bid fair to tip, when a Portland & Ogdens- burg conductor, looking out of a chamber window of the hotel, shouted, ‘Let go your leaders, you —— old fool !" “That's good advice, young man,” was Mr. Beecher's calm reply, as he followed it. ¥. Telegram. ir, Itis 3 HE HAD READ THE PAPERS. FARMER Wayaack: I want to see yer boss. Orrice-Boy : Have you a card, sir? FARMER WaYBACK : Now you go ‘long, ye pert little upstart, an’ tell yer boss I wanter see him, Ye can't come no three-card-monte games on me; I've read the papers, an’ I'm posted.—Harper’s Bazar. Mrs. Brown: You told me that if I left my table-cloth out all night the fruit-stains would disappear. Well, I put it out last night. Mrs, Jones: Of course the stains were gone in the morning ? Mrs, Brown: Yes; so was the table-cloth.— Harper's Bazar, AN up-town father a few days before the Fourth gave his ten-year- old heir a five dollar bill with which to buy himself a pair of shoes, a hat and some fireworks. The patriotic son brought home a 35 cent pair of shoes, a rg cent hat and $4.50 worth of fireworks.—Buffalo Express. For a very safe and lucrative business, with the charm of novelty and excitement added thereto, we suggest that scientific train robbing is by far the best thing discovered in a long time, It beats the lottery all to pieces, It is surer in its returns, and at least you always get your money back and have any quantity of fun.—Austin (Texas) Statesman. Since the failure of lity Bank, the dogs of Cincinnati look insulted when called Fido.—New Orleans Picayune, “WeLL, I didn’t think much of their essays," commented a much- bustled young lady as she left a high-school commencement, ‘but their dresses were quite as pretty as those seen on the stage last year.” —Norristown Herald. joinin the chorus ste satject Detere es, rest, e best, visndlizeraaatte Avnd we last with delight when she lathersit ger us. CELEBRAT aD LADIES’ “The Ladies’ Favorite.” Emollient, A luxu Diseases. THE P. Pore. Purifying. for shampooing. Cures Skin .CKER MFG. CO, 100 Fulto Rew York. | Palmer House, Chicago. ROUND HATS. 178 & 180 Fifth Ave., bet. 22d & 23d Sts., and 181 Broadway, near Cortland St., NRW YORK. ra Chestnut St., Phila. FRRAKAVER, LADIES’ TAILOR, Habit Maker and Hatter, Bellevue Ave., Newport and 19 Bast 24st St., N.Y. ED HATS | f) People Lundbords Perfume EDENIA Lundbord’s Rhenish Cologne. wh. 8. SENT FOR TRIAL, POST PAID, TWENTY-FIVE CTS. CROSBY” Strengthens the ==KIMBALL's SATIN SAM “Straleht Cut Cigaretes, desire exceptionally fine cig- arettes should use only our Riding Habits cut on new safety principles. Brak Gowns, Coats, Jackets and Ulsters in org Riding Ha ing of refined taste who inal designs. from the lead- , Put up invatio Manufacturers. es Of 108, 208, KIMBALL & Co. ! SPENCERIAN 26 SELECTED PENS [STEEL PENS |" taut ‘Are the Best.) sew york. S VITALIZED PHOSPHITES. intellect, restores lost functions, builds up worn-out nerves, promotes good digestion, cures all weaknesses and nervousness. 6 Wast ogra Sraxet, New Yorx. For Satz sy Davcaists, on Mam, $1.00. comicbooks.com