Life — July 21, 1887 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“TRIE? AN INTERESTING CALCULATION. se ELL, what are you doing now?” asked McCorkle, as he went into Fangle’s office and found that gentleman busy over several sheets of foolscap paper covered with figures. Just calculating a little,” replied Fangle. ‘Do you know how many children Christopher Columbus had ?” “No, don't. What do you want to know that for?" “I've estimated them at five. Then I want to know all about the families of every sailor on board his ships." “What for?” “And after that,” proceeded Fangle without answering the ques- tion, “I want to know how many relatives of every grade Ferdinand and Isabella had.” “Well, but what is all this for?” asked McCorkle, beginning to get impatient. FOR RECUPERATION. NTLEMAN (looking for country board): How far from City Hall ? FARMER: Forty minutes. GENTLEMAN: Near station? FARMER: Five minutes. GENTLEMAN: Plenty of trains? FARMER: Twenty each way. GENTLEMAN: How early can I get New York papers? FARMER: Seven o'clock. GENTLEMAN: I'll try it for a week. My system is all run down, and my physician says I must have absolute rest. F Mr. Cleveland wants to give something to the South, why not send them Garland ? HE Jubilee being over, the British lion has discontin- Fond Mother; PUT PLENTY OF WATER IN RUFUS'S CURRANT WINE, DEAR, **] must also procure a list of the children of all the English mon- archs since the discovery of America, and estimate how many square inches their portraits would occupy. Then I want an approximation of the number of Amerigo Vespucci’s family, as well as of those of others who had anything to do with the discovery or exploration of America. And I don’t know but what I ought to include Pizarro and the other ducks who had anything to do with Mexico and South America,” “But what in the name of common sense do you want all those statistics for ?" “1 am sure,” proceeded Fangle,‘' I shall have to enumerate all the rulers of every American nation since the Revolutionary War, with their families.” “ But what #5 this for?" “Why, I am trying to form an approximation of how long the “Life of Lincoln is likely to run in the Century.” yr pp gre ". H. Siviter, TOO LATE. VERY SORRY TO HAVE A TASTE FOR LIQUOR DEVELOPED IN A SON OF MINE. ued putting his tail in curl-pa- pers when retiring at night. Ais class, AN EXPLODED THEORY. OND FATHER: Talk of college not fitting a young man for earning a living! Just as soon as Johnny graduated he obtained a splendid position. FRIEND: What was it? FOND FATHER: First base. MEX arrests women for wearing Mother Hubbard dresses, and has passed a ukase, which we believe is Mexican for law, that no citizen must walk the streets without trousers on. We don’t want to get into any international trouble, but we must say that Mexico is getting a trifle “finicky.” Rufus belongs to the Whoop-her-up” Club at college, and is considered the“ Bully Boy” of PRESCRIPTION FOR SUMMER TONIC. Spiritus Vini Otardi, . 3i Spiritus Vini Jamaici, oo - 31 Sugarum Whitum, » div Icibus Finis, ‘ on St Sliceum Pineappleii, + quant. suff. Strawberrii, ‘ et M. Sig. Shakitis violenter. Suckite dulciter cum strawum. 1 SHOULD BE ay comicbooks.com