Life — June 30, 1887 — page 12: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

W maintain the reputation of the paper as the first authority on all matters pertaining to the turf, aquatics and baseball, as our horse editor is still on the Sharp jury. Moreover, he has by this time become so accustomed to Metropolitan Hotel fare, Central Park drives and “ yosa perfectos” at the city’s expense, that it is doubtful if he can ever come down again toa place on our staff and a hundred dollars a week, as of old. The Assistant Business Manager wished to try his hand at the work, with a view to a possible change in position, but in the four- page article which he evolved he insisted in puffing various brands of soap and champagne in order to please our advertisers, and he had to be told gently, but firmly, that he was too valuable where he was to be spared. One after another all of the editorial force were tried, and of the twenty-eight productions handed in the most readable was one on Bishop Potter's new cathedral boom, but somehow or other it did not seem as if it would come in well under this heading, so all were rejected. Things began to look dark for our ** sport” column. T last the office-boy came to the rescue. He declared that he was certain that he had some sporting blood in the back of his neck, and if he were given a holiday and a pack of cigarettes, he would -put on his polka-dot vest and his ca/e-au-/ait-colored derby and go to the races af a reporter. He followed baseball around the country as well as the bad walking | would allow, and is of the opinion that Detroit will take the pennant, with Boston second and New York third, and that the Metropolitans had better pick strawberries, or study astronomy, or do anything but play ball, He wasted one day at the drifting match held by the Corinthian Yacht Club, and saw the Aé/antic and Shamrock win, He | got all the skin peeled off of his nose, sitting out in the sun watching the tennis matches on Staten Island, but at Sheepshead Bay he put in his finest work, He looked critically at the horseflesh in the paddock, struggled with the thousands around the bookmakers’ boxes, and | mingled with the enormous crowd onthe grand:stand and the quarter- strétch. When the ‘Suburban “was run, he was one of the few lucky ones who knew how to spell the winner’s name, and who held a ticket on him in the pools, and he dined at Manhattan Beach after- wards as if he was the Czar of Russia, or Buffalo Bill, or someone of that kind. He knew enough not to back a favorite in a big field with a muddy track, and he picked out Eurus as a sure-footed youngster who would probably run away with his jockey and get off well if they were not kept at the post too long. Luck favored the horse and our office-boy, who saw him steal a start, keep ahead of them all, and run in a winner by six lengths, while the bookmakers sobbed on each other's necks with joy, the betting public uttered curses that rumbled | from Coney Island to Hunter's Point, and Assemblyman Ives cashed his tickets with that nonchalant pool-bill air for which his friends consider him so justly famous, . PHILADELPHIA man shot a woman “ just in fun !” Ha, ha! pretty good joke that was. Now, let us get up some joke on the assassin, What a witty thing it would be to hang him! HE Thistle meets with ups and downs in her races, so far. It is to be hoped that later in the season, when she arrives here, she will become permanently Thistle- down. are again put to the test to fill our sporting column and | A FRANCO-AMERICAN LAIT. MAIDEN quite sweet and au fait, Was admired by all, ‘till one dait She made a faux pas, By saying “sas, fas,” To Algernon over the wait. Now Algernon’s reverend eve Had instructed his scion and heir, That to flirt on the strite With a maiden petite Was no pleasure for which he should cere. So Algernon raised his chapeau, And straight on his way did he geau ; While the maiden so chic, Grew suddenly mich, For her pride had received a sad bleau. HOW HE WAS WOUNDED. Pension Agent: YES; YOU LOOK AS THOUGH YOU DESERVED A PENSION. WERE YOU WOUNDED ON THE FIELD? Applicant: YES, SIR. Pension Agent: WHAT WAS YOUR RANK? Applicant: 1 WAS UMPIRE. FOUL BALL DID IT, SIR. A VALUABLE PICTURE. “ HAT’S a beautiful pictur’, John,” said Mrs. Hayseed to her husband, who had brought home a tea-store | old-master. ‘‘Who is she; some actress?” “Actress? not much! she used ter be Queen of France. | That woman's Mariar Antynette.” POSSESSIVE CASE. | epee GIRL: Did you see that lady that got off the car's yed palosol ? | Litre Boy: Yes; and see that dude over there's nobby | cane. comicbooks.com