Life — June 23, 1887 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

QUITE HUMAN. BROOKLYN physician has been inve: he finds just as many cranks and fools among them as among the human race. He says that every fourth cat is off her base, while every ninth dog is a sort of fanatic.—Detrott Free Press. A MiNvesoTa poet sat by an open window writing a Spring poem on Thursday of last week. A thunderstorm was raging outside. Suddenly there came a blinding flash of lightning, and a moment later | the poet saw burned upon his manuscript the letters ““N. G.” He was so impressed by this occurrence that he resolved to give up the poetry business at once; and he is now employed in a crockery store. —Tid Bits. From an old bachelor’s album : ‘It’s too soon to marry when one is young, and too late when one is old. be devoted to reflection.” — 71d Bits, ADVICE to young ladies about to graduate : Be just as sweet as you The man who doesn't like to look upon a sweet girl graduate is villain—or married. Tie your essay with a blue ribbon, and practical in the choice of a subject. We suggest ** The Coming } Advice to young men about to graduate: Don't mind the newspapers. Whoop it up for all ‘* The Scholar in Politi Destiny of Patagonia.” over to yourself slow .” “The Ideal Republic,” ‘About five years from now read your oration Buffalo Fxpress. igating cats and dogs, and | The interval may profitably | u’re worth on the Commencement stage about | and “The Political | ! at his hot A POOR FIELD TO WORK. BaTH-House RoppeR: No use lookin’ fer anythin’ here, Bill. Ticket stub ter one of Joe Cook's lectures, an’ a poker chip. Busted drummer from Boston !—7¢d Bits. CuuRCHES in this great country increase at the average rate of ten a day ; saloons at the rate of forty a day. What is the moral of that ? It has none ; it is very immoral.—Milwaukee Wisconsin. THE Piutes say of the earthquake: ‘Ground heap sick—heap bellyache—no good!” The earthquake doubtless rolled them about on the hillsides at a lively rate.— Virginia (Nev.) Enterprise. Luck. “Heavens!” gasps Mr. Hopeless, as he sits down heavily on his new hat, when leaving the Roseleaf’s ** Afternoon Tea,” “ There goes eight dollars and a half!” But hold! It is not his own, but the captivating Mashem's, his bitter rival. With rare caution he re-enters the house and lays the battered tile on a chair, to explain its present | appearance, seizes his own and escapes in triumph.—Harvard Lam- poon, Brown : Hello, Jones! How's your wife? Jones (a little deaf) : Very blustering and disagreeable this morn- ing.—E. S. Agriculturist. A printer up in Canada is said to be 103 years old. so many typographical errors die.—Somerville Journal. TEACHER: The wisest nothing new under the sun.” Litter Boy (enthusiasticall York Ledger. He has made uring his career that he is afraid to man that ever lived said: ‘* There is But I'll bet they never had a baby | _ JERAKAVER LADIES’ TAILOR, Habit Maker and Hatter, 7S COPYRIGHTED. We are children, ihe cheerfully joinin the chorus When PACKER'S TAR SOAPisthe subject belere us, AMama tried all the rest. So she knows tthe best, ‘And we laubh with delight when she lathers it oer us. “The Ladies’ Favorite.” Pure. Purifying. Emollient. A luxury for shampooing. Cures Skin Diseases, THE PACKER MFG. CO, 109 Fulton St. ww York. | Palmer House, Chicago. CELEBRATED HATS AND : LADIES’ ROUND HATS. 178 & 180 Fifth Ave., bet. 22d & 23d Sts., and 181 Broadway, near Cortland St. NEW VORK: Newport AND Phila. o14 Chestnut St., Gi KIMBALL'S SATIN & icsire exceptionally fine cig- rettes should use only our .) itraight Cut, put up in satin sackets and boxes of 10s, 208, Jos, and 1008. ’ 4, ¥ a ye Lundborg’s Si cet. Perfume Riding Habits cut on new ciples, Braided Coats, Jackets and 1 designs, Riding Hats from the lead. 14 Prize Medals, ing London Manufacturers. WM.&. KIMRATT.& AN EDENIA. Lundbords Rhenish Cologne. POST PAID, TWENTY-FIVE CTS. PENCE RIAN 26 SELECTED PENS SENT FOR TRIAL, STEEL PENS | Ivison, Blakeman & Co, ‘758 & '755 Broadway, ‘Are the Best. NEW YORK. CROSBY’S VITALIZED PHOSPHITES. Strengthens the intellect, restores lost functions, builds up worn-out nerves, promotes good digestion, cures all weaknesses and nervousnes: 56 West asrn Street, Naw Vorx. For Sara sv Drucersts, or Mart, $1.00, comicbooks.com