Life — June 9, 1887 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

‘LIFE: NEW GEOLOGY. . AN UPHEAVAL, . ? WAS out behind old Granther’s barn, One bright half-holiday, I sat upon an old nail keg And puffed my fears away ; And as the blinding smoke arose It looked so quaint, bizarre :— I breathed a sigh, a fond, proud sigh— It was my first cigar. I tried to knock the.ashes off And blow those pretty rings, But somehow didn’t have great sport, Nor like the feel of things : The trees began to rock and reel, My joy sank under par ; I threw it from me—spare the tale— It was my first cigar. I leaned my elbows on my knees, And looked down on the ground ; My sighs were now not fond nor proud, And things kept sailing round. Uncanny shapes possessed the earth, And grinning sprites the air— Alas ! the smoky tears proclaimed It was my first cigar. * * * * * T’ve oft since then seen hopes decay, Lost many a fond gazelle, Had sweethearts skip with other men And speculations fail ; But I’ve never known a sorrow That could with that compare, When out behind old Granther’s barn I smoked my first cigar. Cos. HE Hon. Mike Kelly is playing such poor ball that the naughts in the $10,000 paid for him remind us strongly of goose-eggs. HE proper way to keep a diary is to keep it under lock and key. That is, if it is a truthful diary. THE CAUSE OF A RECENT FLOOD. YET AGAIN. MARY tates_exist illustrating the imperviousness of the average British intellect to an unexplained joke, but the following is such a touching example that we cannot refrain from reprinting it. It is from the columns of the Montreal Star : THE SENIOR WRANGLER. ‘The following paragraph recently appeared in a clever and cleverly illustrated New York weekly paper, entitled Lire: ‘‘We have been frequently puzzled as to the exact signification of the Oxford and Cambridge honor, known as the ‘ Senior Wranglership.’ Close atten- tion to Parliamentary debate has in a degree solved the mystery.” Here is an example of a man voluntarily writing about something of which he knows little or nothing. It would hardly be worth while to point out the mistake made by a New Yorker about an English matter, were it not that, even in Canada, similar mistakes are frequently made with similar unconsciousness that they are mistakes. This blunder about wranglers is not uncommon in this country, and I have often heard educated people, or rather people who were supposed to be educated, speak of Oxford College and Cambridge College. If the writer in LiFe had consulted his own American dictionaries he would not have gone wrong. Webster says: ‘ The Senior Wran- gler (Cambridge University, England) is the student who passes the best examination in mathematics.in the senate-house. Then follow the second, third, etc., wranglers.” Worcester defines the Senior Wrangler as ‘one who at Cambridge University, England, attains the highest honors in the public mathematical examinations for the degree of B.A.” Brande, an English writer, explains the system more in detail: ‘At the close of the last day of mathematical examination at Cambridge, those who have most distinguished themselves (to the number of thirty at least) are arranged in order of merit by the ex- aminers, and divided into three classes—wranglers, senior optimes and junior optimes. The first, or Senior Wrangler, is the most dis- tinguished mathematician of his year, The name is probably derived from the public disputations in which candidates for degrees were formerly required to display their powers; of which the ‘exercises’ still held at Cambridge retain the forms.” ‘As an Oxford man myself, I can assure the writer in LiFe that the term “ Wrangler” is confined to the University of Cambridge. comicbooks.com