Life — June 9, 1887 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

- LI HER WEDDING. KISSED the bride ; while other men Uncertain stood as if in doubt Whether my act to imitate or — go without. As playmate, friend and lover, I Had worshipped at her shrine, and now I stood a witness of her pledge and marriage vow. Others had loved her too ; not I Alone had found her fair ; but she Could love and wed but one—and so you see— The rivals heard the dainty lips We longed to press, with solemn voice, Pronounce the name of him who was her sweetheart’s choice. I kissed the bride ; a happy man And proud : the proudest in that room, I ween, and that with reason. groom ? Was I not the £.P.R. THE LEGEND OF THE GAS. AND in the fourth reign of the satrap war there much peace and prosperity throughout the city, and the merchants flourished and the caravans brought goodly goods from the far east. But as the city prospered, and the city fathers chuckled within them- selves, even so did disaster fall upon the city. The gas company got funny. Now be it known to all that ere until this had the gas been of good quality, and burned in the houses of the towns-people thus : Yea, and the price thereof was but two pieces of gold per M. And the young men, and the old men, and the middle-aged men, and the women, even so were they satisfied. But, behold, did the gas company reason within themselves that their shekels could be increased by a new plan. And therewith they erected a water-gas plant, and with mercenary intent mingled they it with their former good gas. And then was the illumination of the city carried on thu Now Abou Ben Levi was a tradesman of the city. And when he did discover the poor quality of the gas, even so did he tear his beard and swear by the Prophet, for he was a righteous man. For he wist not by this light whether he sold a corn- colored silk or a web of cotton cloth. And he called his brother tradesmen unto him, and they debated long on the subject. Finally they sent in a petition. Ht And the gas company were much wroth, did they see their dividends about to dwindle. And the superintendent called his men about him and told he them to go to the uttermost parts of the city and gather up all the old iron, and the pots of lead, and the heavy rocks. Even so And, lo, in a few days had they brought together more junk than had ever been seen by the oldest inhabitant. And the superintendent ordered them to pile it upon the reservoir of Even so gleefully complied they, and worked they thus FE: | And at the end of that time did the superintendent smile blandly, | and hie himself to the store of Abou Ben Levi. And he found Abou much pleased, for the light was much improved. | Even so expressed the other tradesmen, But they wist not of what they spake. And the superintendent winked unto himself and returned to the gas-house. | But now were strange noises heard in the cellars of the citizens, and | Abou Ben Levi was much alarmed, And he betook himself one night to his own cellar, and even there did he find the noise, as of perpetual motion, And he investigated, and surely did he find his meter become a motor, for the hands revolved with amazing quickness around the | dial. And he was much alarmed, But he told his thoughts to no one, and continued he about his business. And at the end of the month did he go up to the house of the gas- company, not with his accustomed ease, but with fear and trembling. | And falteringly did he ask of the treasurer for his bill for the preceding | month. And the treasurer busied himself for a long time, as if adding count- less figures, Then did he hand the manuscript to the impatient Abou. And lo, Abou Ben Levi fell, and delivered up the ghost. He had used fifty million feet of gas at $2 a thousand. Elmer C. Rice. HEY say, though we can’t vouch for the truth of it, that the Pope has read the story of Mahomet and the Moun- tain, and is looking around for a club preparatory to a voyage to New York. Father McGlynn will not serenade His Holiness when he comes. No, indeed! The reverend father's brass band is in training to make it cordial for the next man-who-blew-up- the-Czar when 4e comes to this country. First Lady (who is constantly snubbed by No, 2.): ARE YOU READ- ING ABOUT THAT WOMAN WHO WAS THREE THOUSAND YEARS OLD ? No. 2. (colatyy: Iam. No. 1.: DoEsn’? IT FEEL HORRIDLY TO SHRINK UP IN THAT comicbooks.com