Life — June 2, 1887 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ORS Av NvLL ul fl WT NvLLy HE VALUED DOMESTIC PEACE. WILBUR F. STEELE, a Dakota legislator, takes no stock in woman suifrage—except when he is obliged to. Once the woman | suffrage bill was before the house. the clerk proceeded to call the roll. A call was made for a vote, and When Steele's name was reached 313 WHOLLY UNPREPARED. Mrs. COLONEL YERGER is a continual source of embarrassment to- | her husband. Colonel Yerger recently gave a dinner party to a few select ladies and gentlemen. Of course, he was called on for an after- dinner speech. Colonel Yerger got up, and, assuming an imposing position, began : “Ladies and gentlemen, unprepared as I am—being wholly unpre- pared to make a speech—being unprepared He was unable to proceed. There was a painful silence, which was broken by Mrs. Yerger saying : ““Why, Colonel, you knew it perfectly this morning.” Tableau. —Texas Siftings. he rose with the dignity of a Demosthenes, and commenced : “Mr. | Speaker, I am sorry that I cannot support this bill, but —” At this moment a well dressed lady was seen to bend over the gallery | rail, In a loud voice she exclaimed: ‘‘ W-i-l-b-u-r!” He glanced upward. It was enough. He turned and said: ‘Mr. Speaker, I vote aye.’ The lady was Mrs. Steele.—San Francisco Argonaut. A CAREFUL DOGNOSIS. Kentucky Girv: Pa, I'm afraid there is something the matter with Fido. Kentucky Pa: How so? “He acts strangely and froths at the mouth, and when I offered him water he almost went into convulsions.” ‘He's gettin’ some sense in his head, I reckon.”—Omaha World. “HERE, porter!” cried a distinguished victim of the Interstate Commerce Law, who was traveling on a Southern railroad, “ bring me a bottle of ale.” “Can't do it, sah, We’s passin’ through a prohibition county. You'll have to wait about fifteen minutes.”"—Burtington Free Press. Mr. Evarts had been speaking for some hours, and was evidently nearing his peroration, He began to sum up his arguments, and asked impressively what answer could be made to them. Again he placed the points in lucid array, and again asked a similar question. Then a third time he restated his case with vivid eloquence, and once more, in louder tones, wound up with : “What is their answer ?” He paused. You could have heard a pin drop. Suddenly the door of the court-room opened, and a peddler, sticking his head and a feather-duster into the opening, cried out : “Brooms !—American Magazine, ““WueEn did you die?” asked St. Peter, who was putting some necessary questions to an applicant. “A week ago.” ““A week ago! and it has taken you all this time to get here?” “Yes, sir. ‘I died in Chicago.” “Oh, in Chicago; that explains it. Chicago is a long way from here.”—New York Sun, To Tourists, Travelers and Sportsmen. BSENCE from home always brings its annoy- ances, especially in the matter of insuring a Supply of clean linen. ‘The simplest way to secure this, and to feel that a fresh and spotless collar or pair of cuffs is always available, is to keep a supply of what are called ““LINENE” goods, They are quite as com- fortable and genteel as real linen, and in no way inferior to it. In fact, no difference can be distin- guished, Their many advantages are obvious to the experienced traveler. 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