Life — May 26, 1887 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PAT fe ORS AT NvLLv WITHOUT A MORAL. | WAS_a clerk in a grocery store at $o a week, “she said, ‘Dut like many other young men I fell in with dissolute companions and was induced to gamble.” “And was tempted to take money which did not belong to you ?” “No, I won enough in a week to buy the grocery."—. ¥. Sun. Tue average American at home or abroad does not take kindly to | anything that would seem to cast the shadow of a shade upon his native land. A story told last evening at the Richmond Avenue Methodist Episcopal Church by the Rev. George W. Peck might be cited in illustration, An Englishman was traveling through Italy with an American friend, and in the course of their sojournings each main- tained the superiority of his own country. of Mount Vesuvius in eruption, throwing its brilliant rays across the bay of Naples, burst upon their astonished gaze. ‘Now, look at that,” chuckled the Englishman, “ you haven't got anything in America that can come anywhere near that.” ‘ No,” moodily replied the Yankee, “It is true we have not gota Vesuvius, but we have got a waterfall that could put that thing out in less than five minutes.”—Buffalo Courier. DEACON: bar-room. Bocos: All right, deacon ! go right in again.—/udge. It pains me, Mr. Boggs, to see you coming out of a Anything to save your feelin’s. I'll Finally the grand spectacle | FORCE OF HABIT, Lapy (in grocery store) : Let me have a pound of butter, please. CLERK (who used to tend in a cigar store): Mild or strong ?— Harper's Bazar. Toxp by Labouchere : “ ‘I cannot express how much I feel delighted and honored at having met you, Mr. Carlyl quoth Mr. Mallock, after a conversation with the sage of ‘Chelsea, ‘Eh! well, I hope 1 nray not meet you again!’ is said to have been the pleasant reply.”— Waterbury American, MR. MALAPROP. MR. , the New Orleans banker, is now almost as much in New York as in his tropical home. He is a fluent conversationalist, and is fond of Latin, One evening at the Hoffman House he was missed from the parlor, where a gay party of Southerners were making merry. ‘Where have you been, Mr. ?” asked a young lady when he returned. ‘Oh, just outside in the cuspador, walking pro and con,” he replied. He ‘was once deeply offended at a covert sneer in a Washington paper. “Why,” said he, “that is catamount to calling me a fool !"— The Argonaut. REPARTER. “‘Goop gracious, Jane! why didn’t you marry a monkey, and be done with it “Oh,” smiled Jane, ‘I thought you might want to marry some time, and I wouldn’t take your last chance."— Washington Critic. IN THE COURT ROOM, JUDGE (to a very homely old maid) : born ? ‘Witness: Miss, in what year were you In the year 1846, Before or after Christ ?—7exas Siftings. We are ¥ idee, whe ho cheerful join in the chorus ‘When PAC IR SOAP isthe subject betere us, Aas ted athe rest, So she knowsitsthe best, Andwe laugh with delight when she lathers it oer us. he Ladies’ Favorite.” Pure. Purifying. Emollient. A luxury for shampooing. Cures Skin Diseases. THE PACKER MFG. CO. 100 Fulton St.. LADIES' New Vork. y | Palmer House, Chicago. CELEBRATED HATS AND | ROUND HATS. | 178 & 180 Fifth Ave., bet. 22d & 23d Sts., and 181 Broadway, near Cortland St., NEW YORK. 914 Chestnut St., Phila. LADIES’ TAILOR, Habit Maker and Hatter, 19 East 21st Street, New York, Also LONDON and NEWPORT, SOLICITS an inspec- tion from his Lady Patrons of his novelties. for GOWNS, COATS, ULSTERS, etc., for the ensuing season, im- ported from the leading houses in Europe. La- dies who favor me with their patronage can be assured that my estab- Lundborgs Perfume EDENIA. Lundbord’s ‘rhenish Cologne. POST PAID, GEO. MATHER’S SONS RINTING 60 JOHN STREET, N. Y. THIS PAPER IS PRINTED WITH OUR SPECIAL - LIFE - TWENTY-FIVE CTS. lishment will, as hereto fore, sustain its reputa~ tion for taste, style,. workmanship and per- fect fit. All mail orders prompt- ly attended to. A per- fect fit guaranteed with- out personal attendance. INK INK. PENT CERIN 26 SELECTED PENS | SENT FOR TRIAL, ST EEL P ENS | Ivison, Blakeman & Co.. ‘753 & '755 Broadway, Are the Best.) NEW YORK. CROSBY’S VITALIZED PHOSPHITES. Strengthens the intellect, restores lost functions, builds up worn-out nerves, promotes good digestion, cures all weaknesses and nervousness 56 Wast asru Srruer, New York. For Sate sy Drucoists, ox Mar, $1.00 comicbooks.com