Life — May 19, 1887 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

AT PNT SCISSORS AT NvLLv BUSINESS IS BUSINESS. | g.gmall town out West an ex-county judge is cashier of the bank. “The check is all right, sir,” he said to a stranger, ‘but the evi- dence you offer in identifying yourself as the person to whose order it is drawn is scarcely sufficient.” ““T've known you to.hang a man on less evidence, judge,” was the stranger's response. “Quite likely,” replied the ex-judge, ‘but when it comes to letting go of cold cash we have to be careful Y. Sun, AN AWFUL THOUGHT. “<I was terrible,” remarked Herr Most to a brother nuisance, ‘to be deprived of my liberty and confined behind bars of iron.” “It might have been worse, John, What if those bars of iron had been bars of soap?” Herr Most shuddered.—Ex. A TREAT FOR JOHN. “ LHAVE a bit of good news for you, John,” said a fond young wife. “Yes?” remarked John, expectantly. “Yes. You remember that two weeks ago hot-house grapes were quoted at $8 a pound. Well, I bought some to-day for $6!"—Ex. ABDUL HaMmen, present Sultan of Turkey, is rapidly adopting the ways of Western civilization. He recently ordered a census of his wives and finds that he has 484.—Omaha World. COPVRIGETED. | CELEBRATED HATS AND ROUND HATS. 178 & 180 Fifth Ave., bet. 22d & 23d Sts. and 181 Broadway, near Cortland St., NEW YORK. 9r4 Chestnut St., Phila, LADIES’ FRENCH Dye 1 498 Sms NG no WT Tempce ec: Boston = a Pera CLEANS, Palmer House, Chicago. 283 MANY GROWN PEOPLE PREFER IT. LirtLe Tommy : Can I eat another piece of pie? MAMMA (wvho #s something of a purist): | suppose you can. Tommy : Well, may I? Darn granimar, anyway.—Ex. Tue example of such men as the late Alexander Mitchell and of Mr. Andrew Carnegie, Scotchmen both, is worth to the young its weight in'gold.—New Vork Journal. As one of them has died and the other has got married, it is doubtful which example the Journaf would advise ** the young” to follow,—Aoston Commercial Bulletin. THERE is a story going about town of an odd conception of dissipa- ‘tion on the part of a group of student Japanese which ought to be printed as a contribution to the literature of social ethics. There were three or four young Japanese students, the story goes, who were in the habit of dining on Sunday at a Back Bay residence. One of the party was a young man of high rank and great dignity, and when, one Sunday, he was missing from the table, the host asked with some solicitude the cause of his absence. ‘‘Oh, he cannot come,” said the spokesman of the party, shaking his head sadly, ‘he very dissipated —he very dissipated!” The host thought it best not to make any further inquiry at the time, but after the meal he ventured to asked the young man, in private—‘' You say Mr. Nim Shi is not well?” he not well — he very pated.” Bless me! He hasn't — eh—been drinking?" ‘*Oh no, no! He no drink.” ‘* Not gambling, eh?” ‘No, no! He no gamble.” ‘May I ask you what he has been doing, then?" ‘‘Oh, he very dissipated. He eat spongee cake allee time — he all broke up now."— Boston Transcript. “<I know Washington was a great Injun fighter. * said little Tommy, ** because he cut down his father’s Cherokee.” —Texas Sifting. IKRAKAVER, LADIES’ TAILOR, Habit Maker and Hatter, 19 East 21st Street, New York, Also LONDON and NEWPORT, SOLICITS an inspec- tion from his Lady Patrons of his novelties for GOWNS, COATS, ULSTERS, etc., for the ensuing season, im- ported frem the leading houses in Europe. La- dies who favor me with their patronage can be assured that my estab- distillat Bi Lundborgs Perfume DENIA. Lundborgs Rhenish Cologne. THE ENGADINE Bouquet, Atkinson's New Perfume. ‘This superb AN tion for n sweetly recalls fragrant Swiss flowers. right jewels in a setting of perpetual snow. WHITTE Mone EOGE DRESSING Asit wilt NOTINJUR lishment will, as hereto- fore, sustain its reputa~ taste, style, workmanship and per- fect fit. All mail orders prompt- ly attended to. A per- fect fit guaranteed with- ‘out personal attendance. me) Straight Cut Cigarettes. People of refined taste who desire exceptionally fine cig- larettes should use only our Straight Cut, put up in satin packets and boxes of ros, 208, 508, and 1008. 14 Prize Medals. WM. 8S. KIMBALL & CO. CROSBY’S VITALIZED PHOSPHITES. Strengthens the intellect, restores lost functions, builds up worn-out nerves, promotes good digestion, cures all weaknesses and nervousness. 56 Wast astu Street, New York. For Sate sv Drucaists, ox Matt, $1.00. comicbooks.com