Life, 1887-05-19 · page 11 of 16
Life — May 19, 1887 — page 11: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Life Magazine Page 281: Satire on Life's Obstacles This page contains multiple humorous pieces satirizing everyday frustrations: **Main poem "But—"** by Fannie Windsor personifies the word "but" as a mischievous fairy sabotaging human ambitions. The joke is that life's plans constantly fail due to qualifications and exceptions—aspiring authors, lovers, and businessmen all encounter disappointing "buts" that prevent success. It's a clever play on how a single conjunction derails hopeful narratives. **Lower cartoons** include: - A joke about actor Edmund Kean's theatrical intensity - A conversation between editors debating whether Harvard or Yale is more advanced, with the literary editor deferring to the "Sporting Editor" on college records—satirizing how sports have become more important than academics - A domestic humor piece where a St. Louis mother wants to spank her son Willie using a rawhide rather than a slipper, joking she doesn't want to "crush him"—dark period humor about corporal punishment The page targets institutional priorities and human foibles with characteristic turn-of-the-century wit.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
s BUT— I GROPE and stumble down life’s way, No guardian angel guides ; But in her place a fearful fay In nooks and corners hides. She trips me up with savage glee, And leaves me in the rut ; I'm sure she'll be the death of me, This cruel kill-joy — but ! As the coming author, I would write ‘The novel and the play ; And both had surely scaled the height, Had “but” not barred the way ! I asked my love to marry me, (Of offers she’d a glut !) She thanked me thrice most cordially, Felt highly honored — but — My brain with golden visions teems, A virgin mine of gold ! To-day, the choicest of my schemes To Moneybags I told. Of all the roads to wealth he knew, Mine was the shortest cut : He meant to join the favored few. To-day !— to-morrow !—but— I entered the official race, And risked the party smut ; My friends were sure I won the place ; ‘The vote was counted — but — Since with this fiend I cannot cope, Life's book I mean to shut ; I would use poison, pistol, rope; Or try the water— but — Fannie Windsor. T’ was Coleridge who remarked that to see o . ss Rev, Mr, —: MY DEAR, I'VE BROUGHT YOU THIS PRETTY PARROT TO Kean act was like reading Shakespeare by : 7 CHEER YOUR HOU WHEN I AM AWAY. HE CAN'T TALK YET, BUT WE'LL flashes of lightning. SOON TEACH HIM; WON'T WE, PRETTY POLLY ? Kean must have acted like thunder. Pretty Polly: Nov BY A SIGHT ! REFERRED TO THE PROPER DEPARTMENT. IGHT EDITOR: Which is the most advanced college—Harvard or Yale? Lrrerary Eprror: I'm sure I don't know. You'd better ask the Sporting Editor. He keeps track of the records. NIGHT Eprror: The records? Lrrerary Eprror: Certainly. I believe they're about even on boat-races, but I think Yale is a bit in the lead on foot-ball. Still, 1 may be mistaken. The Sporting Editor will know all about it, though. SHE WAS MERCIFUL. «¢ JOHN, I wish you'd get me a rawhide or a shingle. I want to J spank Willie,” quoth a St. Louis matron. “Why not use my slipper, Mary?” A SALT AND BATTERY, “Oh, | only want to spank him; I don’t want to crush him.” comicbooks.com