Life — May 12, 1887 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

| in consultation over my case seem to differ with you in the diag 269 TO BE SETTLED LATER. “Doctor,” said the sick man, *‘the other physicians who have been agnoalt “*T know they do,” replied the doctor, who has great confidence in himself, ‘* but the autopsy will show who was right."—W. ¥. Sun. A BOSTON GIRL’'S AMBITION, OS LON FATHER (fo newly graduated daughter): 1am glad that your mind has taken such a turn toward art, for you know that more is expected of you than if you lived in Chicago. DaucHTer: Yes, father, FATHER: AndI hope that you will distinguish yourself in more than one way. DAUGHTER: Yes, father. FaTuer : I particularly desire that you become noted as an essayist. DauGHTER : Yes, father. FATHER : I have spared neither pains nor expense in your educa- tion thus far, but notwithstanding this immense outlay of time and money, if you can think of anything which you believe will add to your equipment for the career which you are about to begin—if you can suggest some other way of refining your taste, please do so. Do you know of anything else ? DAUGHTER: Yes, father. FATHER: What is it? Speak out; never mind the expense. DAUGHTER: Well, father, I'd like to go this afternoon and see Professor Sullivan thump that yap from the country.—Arkansaw Traveler. A Lapy who advertised for a girl ‘to do light housework,” received a letter from an applicant who said her health demanded sea air and | asked where the lighthouse was situated.—/. Y. Herald. joinin the chorus isthe subject belereug, CELEBRAT Wes are, len phe ho cheerful join att tied allthe rest, So she knowsitsthe Ana we laugh with delight when a lathersit oer us, LADIES’ he Ladies’ Favorite.’ Emollient. A luxury Diseases. THE P. Purify for shampooing. Cures Skin CKER MFG. CO. too Fulton St., New York, Lundborgs Perfume EDENIA. Lundbords Rhenish Cologne. Palmer House, Chicago. 9 THIS PAPER IS P OUR SPECIAL - SENT FOR TRIAL, POST PAID, CROSBY’ Strengthens the ROUND HATS. 178 & 180 Fifth Ave., bet. 22d & 23d Sts., and 181 Broadway, near Cortland St., NEW YORK. GEO. MATHER’S SONS RINTING 60 JOHN STREET, N.Y. TWENTY-FIVE CTS. | Omatia Lapy: Van Dusen is the name of the gentleman your daughter is to marry, I understand, Mrs. Vanderhoffener. Mrs. VANDERHOFFENER (New York /ady): Yes, and it is such a relief to know that she has made a suitable match. Mr. Van Dusen, like the Vanderhoffeners, comes of the genuine old Knickerbocker stock,:and I should be distressed to have a child marry outside of it, Omaua Lapy: I well know that the original Dutch settlers of Manhattan Island were remarkably good people. Mrs, VANDERHOFFENER: Yes, indeed. I wish you could see Mr. Van Dusen. Everything about him is so delightfully English—Omaha World. A TRIFLE UNREASONABLE. “Why didn’t you stop 2” said -the fat passenger as he clambered onto the car. “Ye didn’t signal,” replied the driver. ** stood on the corner. ** Well, I'm no mind reader,” said the driver, lashing his horses.— VL ¥. Sun. A SMALL boy in Boston, who had. unfortunately learned to swear, was rebuked by his father. '‘ Who told you that I swore?” asked the bad little boy.” ‘Oh, a little bird told me,” said the father. The boy stood and looked out of the window, scowling at some sparrows which were scolding and chattering. Then he had a happy thought. “1 know who told you,” he said. ‘It was one of those — sparrows." JKRAKAVER, LADIES’ TAILOR, Habit Maker and Hatter, 19 East 21st Street, New York, Also LONDON and NEWPORT, SOLICITS an inspec- tion from his Lady Patrons of his novelties for GOWNS, COATS, ULSTERS, etc., for the ensuing season, im- ported: from the leading houses in Europe. La- dies who favor me with their patronage can be assured that my estab- ED HATS 14 Chestnut St., Phila. fore, sustain its reputa- tion for taste, style, workmanship and per- fect fit. All mail orders prompt- ly attended to, A per fect fit guaranteed with- out personal attendance. INK RINTED WITH LIFE - INK. SPENCERIAAIN 26 SELECTED PENS STEEL PENS | Ivison, Blakeman & Co. ‘758 & '755 Broadway, Are the Best. NEW YORK. S VITALIZED PHOSPHITES. intellect, restores lost functions, builds up worn-out nerves, promotes good digestion, cures all weaknesses and nervousness. 56 Wrst agra Street, New York. For Sate av Drucaists. on Matt, $1.00. comicbooks.com