Life — May 12, 1887 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

-LIFE- HE baseball season has opened, and along with the twittering of the birds, the budding of the trees, and the clattering of the truck, comes the news that the “ Mets were beaten yesterday 17 to 5.” It is an infallible sign of spring when the Mets are beaten 17 to 5, and we invariably put on our thinner clothing when we read that refreshing, though perennial news in the papers. | We note with some sorrow that the resignations of the St. Louis and Kansas City clubs have been accepted. It has always been pleasant to feel that there were one or two clubs in the League fitted by nature and by art for the last place in the contest, and now, the withdrawal of these members has left the League without any real solid club which can be relied upon to trot along quietly but firmly in the rear. If we thought agitation would help the matter any, we would agitate the Mets for both the vacancies, but with so many bosses at the head of that club, it would require three or four times as much agitation as we are capable of at this | season of the year, so that we prefer to leave matters as they are. we Mike Kelly, the serf for whom Boston has recently paid $10,000, is a great card for the Hub, but to look at him he doesn’t seem widely different to any ordinary $4.25 mortal. He has two eyes and a nose like most other men, and those who know him intimately assert that he is liberally endowed with mouth. He cannot plough up any more ball-field when sliding to a base than anyone else, and as far as batting is concerned, he can’t bat any farther than a howitzer, so that it looks as if Boston had overreached herself in the speculation. . * * * N the Intercollegiate League, Harvard and Yale start out in the lead. The recently admitted Columbia nine scored a large-sized goose egg in the opening contest with Harvard, but as an undergraduate of the former institution sagely remarked, “that’s nothing.” The New York boys would certainly have won had they been willing to violate the canons of hospitality and thrash their visitors on the home grounds. The same may be said of the Yale-Princeton game, at Princeton, and we congratulate the Columbia and Princeton nines upon their courteous forbearance in not reversing the scores, nered boys who are undergoing a course of athletics at Yale and Harvard have not been so well brought up as our New Jersey and New York youths, and that they may not see the necessity of returning the courtesy of their fellow-members in the League. It may be well to add here Harvard, ) Princeton, | ; 3 i \ Yale. yi confident of winning. ( Columbia, | that Our only fear is that the rough, ill-man- | IFE hails with «delight the prospect of a boat-race between the real and the “ brummagem” Cambridge, and trusts that no hitch in the arrangements may arise. We expect to hear at any moment that the English oars- men demand unrestricted steam-power for their own boat, and that four coxswains and a ton of lead in the Harvard boat shall be a szwe gua non. Should this prove to be the case LIFE trusts the Harvard boys will accept, and we offer the suggestion that should the English crew transpire to be the better of the two, it were an easy matter to saw the foreigners boat in two the night before the race, and then accuse them of Courtneyism. With a good’ saw, a strong heart, and a newspaper, there is no reason why these Britons should beat us, and we need not do anything that will place us without the English definition of sportsmen. * * * HE Madison Square Garden last week was a perfect bow-wower of canine beauty. “ Prett-y little Dugs from England,” “Sweet little Doggs from Boston,” “Nice little Dorgs from Chicago,” and “Perfect little Doygs from New York,” barked and yelped in unison for four days, until a | judge said that some of them were nicer animals than others, although others were very highly commended because of their ancestry and family connections in society. Then they were lead back to their respective homes to furnish patients for Dr. Pasteur, who, we have no doubt, is very much obliged to them. The exhibition was much too dignified for the ordinary mortal, and the absence of the plain yellow dog, with his in- finite variety of cussedness, did much to detract from the success of the Eleventh Annual Bench Show. LONDON MAN had to pay £5 for kissing a Gov- erness. Over here he can kiss a Governor for a paltry vote. THE TRIUMPH OF THE PACHYDERM. ONE OF THE ADVANTAGES OF BEING THICK-SKINNED. comicbooks.com