Life — May 5, 1887 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

whi ry AT A TRYING ORDEAL. (¢] NEVER have tried going without food very many days at a time,” observed Sharply to a friend, ‘but I once went without a drop of water fourteen day: “Were you out on the plains ?” inquired the friend. “No; Iwas out on a yachting cruise."—Marl and Express. WILSON: What do you think of Patti's singing in ‘« Semiramide ?" KENNEDY : Can't say, old man ; never heard her. WiILson : Why, I saw you at the opera the other night, didn't 1? KENNEDY : Yes, but I was there with an opera party.—Pale and Depressed. A CHICAGO Congregational preacher was in some mysterious manner knocked down the other day, and no one can imagine how it happened, , Perhaps Henry Ward 'Beecher’s mantle fell on him.— Omaha World. Tue late John G. Saxe received many requests for his autograph, even during his last illness, and last week the mail brought twenty-five applications from different parts of the country. Fortunately, how- ever, he was dead.—Omaha World. “Mawnin', Brudder Smif ! how's all de folks wid you?” is well, bress Moses! One ob de chilluns was ailin’ hit died jurin’ de night."—7exas Si/tings. “Dey terday, but "De Question op Coro 7 AM DECIDED 4B CELEBRATED HATS AND ROUND HATS. 178 & 180 Fifth Ave., bet. 22d & 23d Sts.. and 181 Broadway, near Cortland St., NRW YORK. LADIES’ Palmer House, Ch Lundborgs Perfume DENIA. Lundbord's atialt Rat auReE them of Monday Rhenish Cologne. <6 West asri Street, Naw York. The Publication Day of will hereafter be Tuesday instead DGE DRESSING SAID HER PRAYERS IN FRENCH. Ir was a haughty Eastern lady who had but dimly 1 | turbulent town, where people light their cigars with dynami shoot a waiter for bringing you a potato that's only half boiled. She did not know what language we talked, but she had no manner of doubt that we had never heard of French, There was a San Francis- can lady with her little child down on a visit, and the three foregath- ered. One night the Eastern lady was watching the San Franciscan mother putting her little four-year-old to bed, with the usual formula’. “ Ah," said the Eastern lady, ‘of course you haven't got so far in these matters as we have ?” “What do you mean ?” “My children have all been taught to say their prayers in French.” The California mother blushed. She had to confess with shame that her child could only speak to God in English. But the little four-year-old was listening. She got up in bed and put her little hands together: “Mon Dieu. Bon jour. San Francisco Chronitle. Comment vous portez-vous? Amen."— THE Sunday Herald declares that the stories about the frauds in the champagne business are yarns. It has interviewed a lot of cham- pagne dealers, and they say so. This is as conclusive as the confirma- tion of the Indiana man’s estimate of the local judge, who he declared was the greatest jurist living. ‘You can’t prove it,” exclaimed a doubting listener. ‘+ I don't need to,” was the answer, “he admits it himself." —Lowell Courter. A PUBLIC reader says he has committed to memory more than 300,000 verses of poetry. We should regret his death, of course, but it seems a pity to lose the chance of getting so much rhyme out of the world at one fell swoop.—Somerville Journal. IKAKAVER, LADIES’ TAILOR, Habit Maker and Hatter, 19 East 21st Street, New York, Also LONDON and NEWPORT, SOLICITS an inspec- tion from his Lady Patrons of his novelties for GOWNS, COATS, ULSTERS, etc., for the ensuing season, im- ported from the leading houses in Europe. La- dies who favor me with their patronage can be assured that my estab- lishment will, as hereto- fore, sustain its reputa- tion for taste, sty:e, workmanship and per- fect fit. All mail orders prompt- ly attended to. A per- fect fit guaranteed with- out personal attendance. Phila. BERT, ee Tew BE KIMBALL'S SATIN Straight Cut Cigarettes, People of refined taste who desire exceptionally fine cig- arettes should use only our NStraight Cut, put up in satin packets and boxes of tos, 208, 508, and 100s. 14 Prise Medals. WM. 8. KIMBALL & Co. = or? 5,2" u> CROSBY’S VITALIZED PHOSPHITES. Strengthens the intellect, restores lost functions, builds up worn-out nerves, promotes good digestion, cures all weaknesses and nervousness. - For Sate sv Druacists. or Matt, $1.00 comicbooks.com