Life — April 28, 1887 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE BARDS ON MERRY SPRINGTIDE. Bryant, TILL sweet with blossoms is the year’s fresh prime, And praises of Spring lamb are sung in rhyme; And e’en th’ inebriate with his vision astigmatic, Hath inward yearnings for existence paradigmatic Heber, Spring unlocks the flowers to paint the laughing soil, And man, whate’er his station, is indisposed to toil ‘A change comes o'er the spirit of the beaver, And nineteen persons of each score are slightly touched by fever. Cowper. Spring hangs her infant blossoms on the trees ; Rocked in the cradle of the Western breeze And he who watches very shortly sces The infant blossoms are inclined to sneeze. * . . 73 I ORROWED wit is the poorest wit,” said Lavater A Lavater apparently never read the Pebbles column in the /ndependent. to make them perfect. They should contain comforta- ble berths, so that the members of the force could go to sleep decently and in order. . . . pu thought he said a great thing when he remarked | that “no creature smarts so little as a fool.” In reality the poet simply indulged in a veritable chestnut. | Everybody already knew that a fool isn’t one of the smart kind. . . . . . HE new Police Patrol boxes need but one more feature | | E have always believed the Stand- ard Oil Company to be a live corporation, but we never suspected it would eventually set the river on fire, as it did last week. . . . O you keep a diary, Mr. Smith? Ya-as, Pepys. * . . R. WILSON BARRETT will sail for England on May toth. It is suspected that Booth and Irving are conspiring to wreck the ship by means of dynamite or a surreptitious rock in the Atlantic. . * . ~IR GEORGE M. PULLMAN is a Carquis by birth. MARINE APPLIANCE. Tue Breecnes Buoy. A N exchange says that this is a “ Journalistic pe'iod.” We have noticed that a great many journals have come to a full stop recently. « . . HE Czar of Russia receives the largest salary paid any tuler on the face of the earth, He gets his extra wages because of the uncertainty of his | stay on that part of the earth. . . . FROM DAWN TO DUSK. ALM, I UMLEY (¢0 caller): I'm sorry, Jones, that I can’t offer you anything to drink. The last drop went last night. PM, Jones (¢o Cadley): 1 saw Dumley this morning. CapLey: How was he? JONES: Oh, he seemed out of spirits. . . . ERDINAND WARD is the star-singer in the Sing-Sing prison choir, His early training as a Sunday-School Superintendent has helped Mr. Ward to obtain considerable prominence in this world. . * * CHICAGO man paid $1,000 for an Indian Bible recently. It is peculiar how much more a man will give for a bible he can’t read than for one he can. LLA WHEELER WILCOX says that Havana smells too bad to be called celestial. Mrs. Wilcox has evidently not ridden in a railway carriage with some of the celestials we know of. . . . HE Philadelphia News quotes Lire as saying: “But if the truth alone you want, Free from all taint of libel, We think you'd better take the News, Or else read the Bible.” Which Lire did not say. Even admit- ting that such wretched metre as appears in the last line of our alleged verse could gain admittance to our columns, we never should have contented ourselves with the simple recommendation contained therein. We should have felt constrained to add that the news contained in the Bible is much fresher than any we have yet seen in the pages of our esteemed Philadelphia contemporary. comicbooks.com