Life — April 28, 1887 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

SCRAPS. HERIFF PASHA, of Egypt, is dead. but Sheriff Grant, of New York, is still on hand. GENTLEMAN, who has the nerve to call himself Tankerville Chamber- layne, presumably of Tankerville-Chamber- layne Villa, Tankerville- Chamberlayne-on-the- Chamberlayne, England, wants to race his yacht, the Arrow, against Gen- eral Paine’s Mayflower, The sole conditions he imposes are that the Ar- row shall be runt by steam, | and that the Mayflower shall be tied to a buoy during the race. It is nothing but Yankee obstinacy that stands in the way of so sportsman- like a proposition being accepted. . 28 6 I view of the position English yachtsmen take regarding the centre- board, Mr. Chamber- layne's telegram refusing to grant “so grea/ an ad- vantage as unrestricted Mr. | ‘LIFE: A SUGGESTION. NOW that the Metropolitan Museum js the recipient of so many valuable pictures, with a scarcity of space in which to hang them, why is it not a good opportunity of dumping the Cesnola statuary into the Atlantic Ocean? They could never injure the ocean, and their absence would be of incalculable benefit to the Museum. But as Mr. Cesnola’s persistent labors and damaged reputation deserve something more from this com- munity than the paltry thousands he has received for his stone-work, we modestly offer a suggestion. Select some representative statue, and retain it as a monument to the inventive genius of this wonderful collector. The bearded Venus, for instance, would serve the purpose admirably. 239 centreboard” is very re- | freshing. OWARD CROSBY | 1s said to be writing a book on Prohibition, with the following preface: “If | you let me compound the | drinks of a people, I don’t care who makes its laws.” s 8 6 GNATIUS DON- NELLY is now per- suaded that Richard the Third wrote Mr. James | He will | Russell Lowell. try to prove this by inter- nal, external, and circum- ambient evidence. ‘THe Discovery oF THE REarprn Venus. It is a beautiful piece of work, of boundless importance to archxologists, the admiration of sculptors, and one wherein the Marquis di Cesnola has devoted his best energies, and which he regards with a natural pride. What could be a more fitting monument to the glory of this inimitable restorer ? Plated with a solid coat of impenetrable brass, with an appropriate inscription at the base, it would serve a glorious purpose. It absorbs much less space than the present collection, as a whole, and if placed in a commanding position, beneath the cellar stairs, for instance, would speak volumes to the intelligent visitor, and point a healthy moral to all future humbugs. ZOOLOGICAL. AVING overheard something about Darwin and the quadrumana:, at breakfast yesterday. Bodkins enquired if Mike (who has just built a cottage with his savings) was a monkey. “I guess he must be,” said Bodkins, “ everybody says he is so forehanded.” NEW DEFINITIONS. AME: A long ladder which is suddenly pulled away from under the feet as soon as we reach an invisible ‘niche above us. . MATRIMONY: A stupid and tedious romance with a gilt-edged and seductive title-page and illuminated cover. comicbooks.com