Life — April 7, 1887 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ETYMOLOGICAL. OW the melted snows of winter From the gutters deep escape will, And by aping flowing rivers Give a name to sunny Ape-rill, * . . T= Boston Courter says that a man with a large family of daughters seldom keeps a dog. Not in Massachusetts, at any rate. The surplus of femi- ninity there seems to warrant the assertion that dogs are not needed. . . . DWIN BOOTH is said to object to matinée perfor- mances on the ground that night is the proper time for stars to shine. . . . LIVER WENDELL HOLMES states that he was once offered pay for a poem in praise of a certain stove polish, but declined. We sce no good reason why the good Doctor should decline | to sing the praises of a certain stove polish. If the stove polish were uncertain matters would be different. VERY CATCHING. Te fact that William was a man of peace probably gave rise to the proverb, “ The Penn is mightier than the | sword.” . . > T is too bad that Judge Hilton did not supplement Mr. Vanderbilt's gift to the Metropolitan Museum with the $66,000 Meissonier. Water-carrier di Cesnola would have had a grand oppor- tunity to make a composite painting of the two masterpieces if the Judge had been generous. HE sun will go out, according to Sir William Thom- son, in ten million years, Good! This will give the Standard Oil Company a chance ; and for warmth, we always have our politics. * . . H who seeks nourishment in overcooked meats is | needlessly extravagant—chips are cheaper, says a gastronomic philosopher, who doesn’t know what it is to take a friend's hand at poker. . . * HE Emperor William, it is said, is determined to live until Adam Badeau is dead. He trembles to think of the personal anecdotes that might be told of him. . . . HE man who spoke of the editor of the Drawer in Harper's Magazine as Charles Deadly Warning, was not far wrong if he knew of him simply as the Humorous Adviser of the great publishing house. . . . W 1 Mr. Goblet at the head of affairs in France, the European Republic should be a great water-power in the land. * * * F the High License bill becomes a law the rumsellers are going to retaliate with a bill increasing the water rates. What effect the success of such a measure will have on the milk industry is likely to become a serious question. . . . INCE Columbia beat Harvard on the water and the other colleges on the baseball field, she has done con- siderable booming as a university. If she can only repeat the successes of last season, we see | no reason why a degree from Columbia should not be quite as good as one from Harvard or Yale. * . . Across dentist has recently failed because another man had a better pull than he. . . . HERE never was a counterfeit nickel in this world that did not eventually find its bob-tail car. . . . [I is rather hard on Mrsjamesbrownpotter that she and Buffalo Bill will be rivaling each other in London at the same time. If the lady would only join forces with the Wild West Show the aggregate would give the American eagle such a chance to scream that the Queen's Jubilee would be as silent as a Presidential candidate on the Tariff question. comicbooks.com