Life — April 7, 1887 — page 12: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

* LIFE: TO CELIA, WOULD not kiss you if 1 could— I would not press your hand, I swear ; "Twere vain t'undo your silken snood, ‘To tempt me with your golden hair. My arm abhors your dainty waist ; My head upon your virgin breast Nor comfort can, nor rapture taste, But sighs for pillows and for rest. My eyes I close and turn away, If but an ankle steal in sight. And to your rippling laughter gay I shut my ears with all my might. And, yes, though you're the brightest miss, ‘That ever babbled French at school, If you believe one word of this, I'll laugh and call you—April fool. A SMALL port bottle received at LIFE office last night confirms our suspicion that the ocean yacht race is over and that the Coronet wears the victor's jib. It contained a clipping from the World of last Monday, profusely illustrated with pictures of porous plasters showing the various positions which the winner occupied during the voyage, and announcing that through the enterprise of Mr. Pulitzer the yacht had that moment been sighted off Roche's Point. The record of the Coronet is a fair one considering the difficulties she had to overcome, It is not so marvelous, however, as to cause an; uneasiness in steamship circles, Captain Cook of the Cunarder Etrur feeling certain that his vessel is by all odds the faster in all respects, even including the passengers The sufferings on board the Dauntless, which arrived at Cork some days before she was sighted, form a horrible tale, which we would repeat were it not that it is copyrighted by our E. C. the N.Y. Times. We may, however, editorially allude to the horrible situation in which the sailors and guests on the Dauntless found themselves after the third day out. The loss of the water-tank and four barrels of salted codfish brought them face to face with a most awful dilemma, ‘The gallant yachtsmen had to choose between death by starvation or a surfeit, They chose the latter, and for thirteen days the devoted men lived on champagne, shad roe, filet a la Detmonico, deviled crab, | and pate de foie gras. Not one scrap of hard-tack or Croton remained tothem. Yet they survived, and up to this hour not one has been heard to murmur. It is not often that the world is called upon to applaud such heroism, and if Captain Samuels and his men do not transpire to be the children of Immortality, it will be because Immor- tality isa ha arted, unappreciative father. Her Imperial Majesty, the Queen of England, has graciously inti- mated that she will accept the Coronet as a Jubilee present, should Mr. Bush see fit to offer his treasure. Mr. Bush, we are told, can be persuaded to see fit for the small sum of £30,000. ° ° . APROPOS of the Coroner's auristocratic title, we think it most inap- propriate for a Republican vessel. We think if Mr. Bush was par- ticularly set in naming his ship after some particular headgear, he . lean so elegantly and gracefully. | most affecting testimonial to undying greatness, should have chosen something more American. ‘The Liberty Cap, “Jonathan's Fur Hat,” or ‘The Theatre Bonnet,” would have been better than the Coronet, and would have signified that she “ goes on ahead” just as well as the Anglomaniacal title. * . ° APTAIN BOYTON, whose progress toward the New Jersey Coast in a rubber suit was arrested by a sportive wave which toyed with the swimmer to an unexpected degree, has been baled out by his friends, and will float from Albany to New York on a cake of ice this week. The Captain's contributions to science have been most interesting, and it is to be hoped that he will crown a life of glorious achievement by swimming up Niagara Falls, Those who doubt that it requires genius to float on the bosom of the Atlantic until picked up by a pass- ing steamer would be convinced by such an achievement as the Niagara | experiment, and perhaps the owners of the Dodge statue would permit the bronze effigy of the great water expert to sit on top of the piece of corrugated sewer pipe, against which the late philanthropist is made to A fountain shared thus would be a $SPSSSES $F JATTI is here, and it only costs seven dollars to sit in the orchestra and hear her sing! Yet we know for a cer- tainty that many a sordid New Yorker would rather have fourteen dollars in his pocket than take his wife to the opera. To this have we sunk, we brutes!’ Mme. Adelina Patti and Mr. Henry E. Abbey deserve all the money they can get, and they mean to get all they.can lay their hands on. Wearea mighty people, we Americans; but we have our little pecu- liarities, like many a barnyard fowl, and if properly worked we are well worth visiting. Seven dollars! And the mortifying feature of it is that every seat will be taken. When we recall the Morgan sale, it really seems as if there were no limit to our intelligence. JUST OFF THE “DAUNTLESS.” OST: Have a glass of champagne, Charlie; it will do you good, YACHTSMAN : No, thank you; I've drunk nothing but wine for the past four days, Water-tank burst, you know. OuR OLD FRIEND Bocos, WHO KNows New York IN THE SPKING, 1S PREPARING FOR A VISIT TO THE CITY, comicbooks.com