Life — February 24, 1887 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

IDYL OF THE SEASON. H, this is the season when valentine’s come, Brimming over with love or with hate ; One damozel’s happy, another's made glum, When the postman doth toot at the gate. Some screeds are refulgent in paper and paste, And others cost only a penny, Depicting a siren with tapering waist, With lines that imply she’s not any. ‘The office-boy now his employer doth score, And gleefully watches him fume, When regarding a portrait that’s eighty parts jaw, With a couplet foretelling his doom. The young and the old, all join in the fun, Drinking toasts to old Valentine’s ghost, To all ’tis most welcome—that is, except one, The poor mortal that carries the post. * * * E have frequently heard it said that Senator Edmunds is unduly fond of milk; and we fear he was much under its influence when he made use of that delightful metaphor: “Out of the frying-pan into the sea.” * * * TRAVELING ON HIS SHAPE. * * * LEXANDER OF RUSSIA is a dipsomaniac. This comes from an over indulgence in tallow candles. * * * T has been said that the Irish sweep everything before them. The creature who made the remark never could have had an Irish servant in his house. * * * DALY PAPER: The programme of the “Taming of the Shrew.” WES one thinks of di Cesnola and a General, and then thinks of General di Cesnola, he comes to the conclusion that the Director of the Metropolitan Museum of Art is made up of unrelated parts. * * * TUDENT: A literal translation of Sic itur ad astra is—this way to the Astor House. * * * ET us see, Wasn't it somewhere about this season” of the year that a man named Washington, and claiming to be the uncle or some close connection of his country, was born? * * * R. WATTERSON calls George William Curtis the Bunthorne to an Oscar Wilde Administration. Better call him the Bunthorne in the Republican flesh. * * * X-PRESIDENT PORTER, of Yale University. is said to be writing a book, the topic of which has not yet been made known.— Pittsburgh Dispatch. If LiFe were in a betting mood, it would put dollars against buttons that the book is to be a disquisition on the Science of Baseball. * * N epidemic of Postal-Cardial meningitis is raging in Philadelphia. * * * R. EMIL PAUL, having eaten eighty-four quail in forty-two days, will now try to read the Philadel- phia ews for twenty-six consecutive days, a feat that has | never yet been accomplished by any living person. * * * Ik it be true that Mr. Vilas reads all the postal-cards that go through the United States mail, Mr. Cleveland owes it to the country to demand his resignation. * * * TRE is a movement on foot to establish a Mrs. James Brown Potter Bureau of Information. * * * RS. REBECCA FORBES STURGIS is writing a story entitled “ A Million Dollar Stake!” She is said to have derived her main incidents from Del- monico’s. * * * J F our Albany legislators were as capable of making laws as they are of making hay, there would be less cause for complaint. F * * * R. CLEVELAND said / fourteen times in the course of a recent address, and Queen Victoria made use of the expression ‘Me Luds and Gents” eighteen times when she opened Parliament. comicbooks.com