Life — February 24, 1887 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“While Here's Life there's Hope.” VOL.IX. | FEBRUARY 24, 1887. 1155 BRoapway, NEw York. No. 217. Published every Thursday, $5 a year in advance, postage free. Single copies, ro cents. Back numbers can be had by applying to this office. Vol. I., $1.50 per number ; Vol. II., 25 cents per number ; Vol. III., IV., V. and VII. at regular rates. Rejected contributions will be destroyed unless accompanied by a stamped and directed envelope. ENT again. Our friends in society have kept up a very active performance ever since the horse show in November, and are doubtless even more enthusiastic over the season’s end than they were at its beginning. The strain of social enterprise in New York and Washington and the centres of fashion is intense, and it is very grateful to the rich and giddy to stop for a season and sit around. Now it will be Fortress Monroe and Florida for enfeebled fashion, while the incorrigibles will be making ready to run over for the London season. * * HE President gets grateful acknowledgments from all sides for vetoing the Dependent Pension Bill. Lire loves the veterans, and likes to see them thrive and multiply ; but the pension business has been overdone, and every one who is not an applicant, a claim-agent, or a congressman, knows it. As for the congressmen, they would pension Mark Twain's hero, who did not go to the war himself, but sent his wife’s relations. There is no discrimination about them whatever. * * * OME of our esteemed teetotal friends are after Dr. Howard Crosby because he does not think it sinful to drink wine. No more do we; and when LiFe and Dr. Crosby hold the same view on any subject, there is room for belief that they are right. Dr. Crosby is for high license and the mitigation of the saloon misery. The Prohibitionists and the Saloonists are both against him, and when those two factions agree upon any matter, it is safe to say that both are wrong. If anybody has any influence up at Albany he cannot do better than to throw it in favor of Dr. Crosby's high license bill. It is the only feasible means of reducing the number of saloons. It will shut up hundreds of dives, and incidentally it will bring a great deal of money into the treasuries of the cities it affects. But the increased revenue from high license is of minor importance; the main thing is that it will restrain in some degree the competition in drunkard making. pace oe EN THOUSAND DOLLARS is the price paid by Boston to Chicago for the privilege of hiring Mike Kelly to play baseball. Personally Michael is to receive $2,000 for his services, and $3,000 for his photograph (another instance of beauty being preferred to merit). Mike is king of the dia- mond, and Boston means to be king of clubs, if she has to pawn her culture to hire the requisite talent. * * * T is noised abroad in missionary circles that Missionary Hume is going back again to India to teach the Hindoos Christianity. Mr. Hume will be remembered as the merciful being who was not sure that the unenlightened Heathen went straight to Hell, but thought it possible that opportunities to take the other track were offered them after death. The American Board was immensely scandalized at the assurance of his suggestion, and declined for a long time to send him back to his work. Now the Prudential Committee, which had his case in hand, under strong pressure of public opinion, has consented to let him go back, on the understanding that his views of post-mortem probation are not positive, but merely hypothetical, and with the understanding that he will not say much about them. * * * OW many strikes like that of the coal-handlers will it take to disintegrate the Knights of Labor? Very few. The organization is so big and so loosely put together that too many fools come to the top. * * * ET us admire the Evening Post for the excellent licks it put in against the Pauper Pension Bill. * * * HEY say Mr. Parnell has Bright’s disease, is insane, and is generally disqualified for work; but we will not believe all that yet. It is a fact, though, that the Uncrowned One is not in good health, for which we are sorry. Emperor William continues to die from day to day as usual, but Mr. Hewitt is slowly getting better of his rheumatism. We are quite well, thank you, and so is ex-Secretary Manning. * * * CAREFUL compiler of statistics states that the total seating capacity of the New York churches is “not more than 350,000. The number of men in the city between eighteen and forty-five years of age, according to the most reliable information, is 353,107.” This will bring joy to the hearts of some of our friends, as explaining their motives in staying away. And there exist certain delicately organized creatures who prefer losing the pleasures of attendance to the consciousness of crowding others out. * * * HE few of our readers who may have chanced to survive the recent stroke of weather are herewith congratulated. comicbooks.com