Life — February 3, 1887 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

‘LIFE: A YOUTHFUL THEOLOGIAN. BOY who had lived in Paris, Maine, until he was eight or nine years old, and had gone regularly to church, where he had heard the doctrine of future punishment strenuously preached, moved to another town. In school one day the teacher told her little folks about some’ trivial misdemeanor which had been committed by some naughty boys. “Won't God punish ‘em ?” asked the youngster from Paris. The teacher, taken by surprise, hesitated. “Well, there's a God up to Paris that would punish ’em, anyhow,” remarked our young friend before the teacher could answer.—Zewiston (ife.) Journal. A WITNESS was testifying that he met the defendant at breakfast, and the latter called the waiter, and said— “Hold on,” exclaimed the counsel for the defence, ‘‘ I object to what he said.” Then followed a legal argument of about an hour and a half on the objection, which was overruled, and the court decided that the witness might state what was said. “Well, go on and state what was said to the waiter,” remarked the winning counsel, flushed with his legal victory. Well,” replied the witness, “he said, ‘Bring me a beefsteak and fried potatoes.""—Ex. PLEASANT FOR THE CRITIC. You know the man who always wants your opinion of him or some- thing he’s done, the candid truth, and then quarrels with you for giving it to him. He has various methods, but this is one of the neatest I've heard for a long time for a judicious hint. A celebrated artist in New 69 York had just finished a picture. Artists don’t like to be advertised. It is for love of art they paint, and they are hurt if their name gets into the newspapers favorably. That, however, is a universal failing. The picture had been on show in his studio in a private way, and the painter called upon the art critic of a big New York daily, an old friend of his. He found him very glad to see him, of course. ““Twant you to come and take a look at’ my new picture,” said he. “It's just finished.” “Til be delighted, certainly.” “Tve only one thing to ask. We've been close friends for years, and, of course, that may influence you. But I don’t want it to. I want you to lay aside all recollection of our friendship; look upon me simply as a painter who has painted a picture. I want you to come to my studio; and give me a cold-blooded criticism of the work. I've just licked one fellow who said he didn’t like it."—San Francisco Chronicle. SUCH WRITERS ARE NEVER GRIEVOUS. From acity in the Mexican State of Jalisco we have received the following request : ‘ Editor Argonaut—Dear Sir: If you have not any inconvenient, I will request you send me one excemplar of your accredited news paper. "If his lecture is affability to me, I will tell you, and then you can send mea subscription. Please excuse me if I am grievous. Your most respectfully. ” The gentleman is not at all grievous. We have forwarded a copy, and trust that the lecture of the Argonaut will prove affability to him.—San Francisco Argonaut. A BELLEVILLE (ILL.) servant-girl went to sleep one afternoon and did not wake up until forty hours later. When she awoke she was naturally much incensed to find that she had been defrauded of two evenings out.—Boston Transcript. “Do you sell type?” “Type, sir? No, sir. This is an ironmon- ger’s. You'll find type at the linendraper’s over the w'y!” ‘I don’t mean tape, man! Type, for printing!” Oh, toype yer mean! I beg PACKER’S TAR SOAP. “‘The Ladies’ Favorite,”’ for all toilet cleansing and purifying purposes ; for preventing chapping, chafing, come- dones, or ‘* flesh-worms,” and other skin affections; for curing dandruff (which if left to continue, causes baldness); for cor- recting the injurious effects of cosmetics ; and for washing the delicate skin of infants. PACKER’S TAR SOAP. Don’t forget the name. GEO. MATHER’S SONS RINTING INK 60 JOHN STREET, N. Y. Palmer House, Chicago. CELEBRATED HATS AND LADIES’ ROUND HATS. 178 & 180 Fifth Ave., bet. 22d & 23d Sts., and 181 Broadway, near Cortland St., NEW YORK, 9x4 Chestnut St., Phila, yer pardon, sir !"—Punch, LADIES’ TAILOR, HABIT MAKER, 19 EAST 2ter STREET, WOULD respectfully announce that he will, as in preceding years, in order to keep his skilled hands fully employed, make especial inducements at Reduced Prices from date to Febru- ary rsth next. N. B—All gar- ments made at THIS PAPER IS PRINTED WITH OUR SPECIAL - LIFE - INK. ONE should FAIL to examine the merits of the IMPERIAL BURNER, which gives the most brilliant and per- fect light produced by any Lamp known. On exhibition, lighted, in a selection oN Lamps specially imported this season SENT FOR TRIAL, POST PAID, TWENTY-FIVE CTS. reduced prices to be embraced within the above period. “Model garments remaining on hand offered at _half price. PENCE RIAN 26 SELECTED PENS | STEEL PEN S Ivison, Blakeman & Co. ‘753 & '755 Broadway, |Are the Best. NEW YORK. y BENNETT B. SCHNEIDER, 37 Park Place,.New York. The best satisfaction guard.:teed, or you can have your money returned. \ CROSBY’S VITALIZED PHOSPHITES. _ Strengthens the intellect, restores lost functions, builds up worn-out nerves, promotes good digestion, cures all 56 Wasr asta Street, New York. weaknesses and nervousness. For Sax sy Drucorsts, or Man, $1.00. comicbooks.com