Life — January 27, 1887 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

SeISSORS AT NvLLv AN IMPARTIAL JUDGE. €€ YOU have heard all the evidence,” said the judge in summing up, “you have also heard what the learned counsel havesaid. If you believe what the counsel for the plaintiff has told you, your verdict will be for the plaintiff; but if, on the other hand, you believe what the | defendant's counsel has told you, then you will give a verdict for the defendant. But if you are like me, and don’t believe what either of them have said, then I'll be hanged if I know what you will do."—£x, A CARD.—We return many thanks to those noble workers, in saving our household effects on Sunday last. May His shining smile guide all in future, and may His frowns follow those who pillaged so | heavily after all was saved.—ALEx. OLDHAM.—Ex. A CHESTNUT WORTH PRESERVING. A story is told of a man of a very silent disposition, who, riding in his gig over a bridge, turned about and asked his servant if he liked eggs. The man replied ‘Yes, sir.” Nothing more was said on the subject till the following year, when driving over the same bridge again, the master suddenly turned again to his servant, and said, ‘How ?” to which the man promptly responded, * Poached, sir !”” BOUND TO HAVE THE DOLL. A VERY little miss was busy yesterday amusing herself with her doll, when she was observed to pause suddenly and think intently for a moment. Then, turning to her mother, she said : ‘‘ Mamma, when I die, can I take my dollie to heaven ?” ‘No, my child ; they don’t have dolls in heaven.” Whereupon the little one indignantly exclaimed: “Den I'll take my doltieto hell and play by de fire."—Buffalo Courier. 55 CARDS UNNECESSARY. . Two ladies had an amusing experience in making a formal call at a house on Linwood Avenue the other day. The maid asked them to wait until she ascertained whether the persons inquired for were in. Presently she tripped down-stairs, and announced that ‘the ladies were not at home.” One of the callers, finding that she had forgotten her cards, said to her friend : ‘ Let me write my name on your card.” | “Oh, it isn't at all necessary, Miss —,” put in the maid, cheerfully, “T told them who it was!” Exeunt ambo, with suppressed emotion.— Buffalo Commercial Advertiser. CoLoreD Worshipper : Mistah Clarence, wasn’t dem Patriarchs of old de mos’ forgetfullest men you ebber knowed of ? Mr. C.: How so, Mr. Johnson ? Mr. J.: Why, I heered de preacher at my house ob. worship, read out de good book, time an’ time again, how Abraham he ferget Isaac, an’ Isaac he ferget Jacob, an’ Jacob he ferget a whole lot moah. Pears like dem Patriarchs couldn't ’member anybody.— Pittsburgh Bulletin. BOUND TO BE WITH THE ENGLISH. Ponsonsy : Awthaw, I'm going to take a spin in my cutter this afternoon. Will you join me? De TWIRLIGER : With pleasure, dear boy, but where is the snow ? Ponsonpy : “ Awthaw, I'm actually shocked. Haven't you heard of | the great snow-storm in England ?—Philadelphia Call. “WELL, that’s just like the cheek of these foreign artists,” observed Mrs. Snaggs. ‘What is?” asked her husband. "‘' Why, that man, Munkacsy is coming back here next summer to paint Niagara-Falls, and I believe he'll just spoil them, so I do."—Pittsburgh Chronicle Telegraph. Wire : You talked in your sleep last night, John, and you mentioned mother’s name. Huspanp: That so? It must have been that mince pie I ate before going to bed.—Harfer's Bazar. “The word “ LOWELL" appears in CAPITAL letters in the back of Lowell, Wilton, and Body- | Brussels, at every repeat of the pattern. Look | carefully to the trade-marks and be sure you get | the genuine LOWELL carpets. | For nearly Half a Century LOWELL CARPETS Have been acknowledged to be the | BEST. | The grade has never been lowered, and | the Company unhesitatingly challenge com- | parison with the production of any manu- facturer in the world. Sold by all First-class Dealers. The Lowell Ingrains are wound upon a hollow stick, which the U.S, Superior Court decided to be avalid trade-mark. ‘The public are thereby thor- oughly protected against deception. LUNDBORG'S LADIES’ COPYRIGHTED. CELEBRATED HATS ROUND HATS. 178 & 180 Fifth Ave., bet. 22d & 23d Sts., and 181 Broadway, near Cortland St., NEW YORK, Palmer House, Chicago. IFRAKAVER, |LADIES' TAILOR, HABIT MAKER, 19 EAST 21st STREET, WOULD respectfully announce that he | will, as in preceding years, in order to keep his skilled hands fully | employed, make especial inducements at Reduced Prices from date to Febru- ary rsth next. N. B.—All gar- ments made at. reduced prices AND 9r4 Chestnut St., Phila, to be embraced | within the above period. Model garmens remaining un haud onered ut half price. KIMBALL'S SATIN Straight Cut Cigarettes. People of refined taste who desire exceptionally fine cig- arettes should use only our " Straight Cut, put up in satin m SS a oe | Zs the PUREST BEEF EXTRACT for Family Use. Nourishing and Grateful to Invalids and | Children. Sold by Grocers and Druggists, or | address THE CIBILS 0O., NEW YORK. packets and boxes of 10s, 208, $08, and 100s, 14 Prise Medals. ‘WM. 8S. KIMBALL & CO. CROSBY’S VITALIZED PHOSPHITES. Strengthens the intellect, restores jost functions, builds up worn-out Bese promotes good digestion, cures all weaknesses and nervousness. fast asrt Sraget, New Yorx. For Sate By Druccists, ox Matt, $1.00. LUNDBORG'S Rhenish Cologne. comicbooks.com