Life — November 25, 1886 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

: LIFE: SPAT SIGOORS, Ait WWLLv JNGENEEEMAN received a note from his lawyer which he was unable todecipher. On his way to his office he met a friend at the door of a drug store. The friend, after vainly attempting to read the note, sug- gested that they step inside and hand it to the druggist without com- ment. The druggist, after studying it in silence for a few minutes, stepped behind the prescription case and in a short time returned with a bottle of medicine, duly labeled and bearing directions. When the gentlemen saw his lawyer he was informed that the note wasa notice for him to call at his office between 3 and 4 o'clock, P. M. of the following day.—American Analyst. A GENTLEMAN who had recently united with the Methodist Church was invited to play in a brass band. Determined on doing nothing to bring discredit on his brethren, he called upon his Pastor and asked: “* Brother Higgs, can a man be a Christian and play in a brass band ?” “* A brass band 2” ‘* Yes, brother Higgs.” ‘Cornet or trombone ?” ‘“Fither.” ‘‘ Nice fellows in the band?” ‘‘ Yes, first-rate.” ‘‘ The danger, then, brother Jones, is not so much of your falling from grace, as for the fellow who passes through the fiery temptation of hearing you practice !" — Youth's Companion. TRamP: Please, mum, don’t shut the door; I'm utterly destitute. Lapy OF THE House (éind/y): What do you want ? TRamP: Anything you please to give, mum. I leaveit to your gen- erosity. . Laby (sweetly) : Come in, and I'll tell the stable boy to give you a bath. — Philadelphia Call. 329 A PALINDROME reads equally well backward or forward, but the following stanza beats the palindrome in that it reads better back- ward than forward: Krah, krah, eht sgod od krab, Eht sraggeb era gnimoc ot nwot ; Emos ni sgar, emos ni sgat, Dna emos ni tevlev snwog. — Springfield Union, “THE car is full of alumni,” whispered Miss Beekonstreet to her friend from the West, as they both journeyed Cambridgeward in the horse car. _‘‘ Yes,” said the Chicago girl, ‘and how it chokes one up, don't it}?| I wonder they do not open the ventilators."— Boston Com- mercial Bulleté: Waiter, is this an old ora new herring that you brought me ?” “Can't you tell?” ‘No.” “Well, then, what difference does it make ?” — Fliegende Blatter. HE CERTAINLY PUT HIS FOOT IN IT. A PROMINENT Chicago real estate man and his partner were the best of friends, and their intimacy extended to personal as well as bus- iness matters. His partner was a bachelor, and was in the habit of reading him letters of an ardent and affectionate nature, from a young lady who signed herself “Susie.” The hero of the story went away on an extended trip and returned just in time to attend the wedding of his partner. Wishing to show his good will, he sent the happy couple a wedding present, and at the wedding reception, stepped gallantly forward to pay his respects. ‘T hardly feel like a stranger,” he said in his sweetest tones, address- ing the bride; ‘‘in fact, I feel'as though I ought to be quite well ac- quainted with my partner's wife, since he has often done me the honor to read to me extracts from his dear Susie's letters.” The faces of the husband and the speaker were studies as the bride drew herself up and said emphatically and distantly : ““T beg your pardon, sir! My name is Helen !"— Chicago Tribune. HEADQUARTERS FOR STRAIGHT WHISKIES, “OLD CROW” AND HERMITAGE, SOUR MASH. Sold absolutely pure, unsweetened, uncolored. Various ages. None sold less than four years old. Reliable for medical use. We have taken every barrel of Rye Whisky made at the Old Crow Distillerysince January, 1872. Sole Agents for The Pleasant Valley Wine Co. Full ines of reliable Foreign Wines, Liquors and Segars. H. B. KIRK & CO., 69 FULTON ST., BROADWAY ano 27TH ST., AND 9 WARREN STREET. ESTABLISHED 1853. LUNDBORG'S SU ALI Pextaps Co. NZ COPYRIGHTED. AND LADIES’ ROUND HATS. 178 & 180 Fifth Ave., bet. 22d & 23d Sts., and 181 Broadway, near Cortland St., NEW YORK. Palmer House, Chicago, 914 Chestnut St., Phila. JROAKAVER, LADIES’ TAILOR. HABIT MAKER and HATTER or 19 EAST 2ter STREET, NEW YORK, CELEBRATED HATS an: SOLICITS an_tns tion of his Fall Im- portations in Woolens and Fabrice SA Selected from Leading b Manufacturers in Euro- x) pean markets. ia i an ityles: Novelties certain to lease are now to beseen y patrons and ladies who require a Perfect Fit Perfume ESSONS IN ART.—Classes in,Oil and Water Color Painting, Drawing, and the various Me fackets, branches of Decorative Art. TWENTY-THIRD STREET. Circulars, giving full particulars, sent free. MRS. AMOS and MISS COOK. and Strictly Tailor Made ts, cores ‘ray ete., etc., for No. 36 EAST i the Drive,” House or ‘Street. Ripine Hasrts Mave or Fauttirss Frr, EDENIA. LUNDBORG’S “LIFE’S VERSES!” Composed of the best poems, selected from “Life,” beautifully bound and illustrated. Cover in colors. The daintiest book ever published. Price, $1.50, postage paid. Also, “THE GOOD THINGS OF LIFE.” First, Second and Third Series. Price, $2.50, each Send remittance by check to order of + LIFE - 1155 BROADWAY, NEW YORK. Rhenish Cologne. CROSBY’S VITALIZED PHOSPHITES. Strengthens the intellect, restores lost functions, builds up worn-out nerves, promotes good digestion, cures all weaknesses and nervousness, 56 Was asrx Street, New York. For Sate sy Druacists, or Matt, $1.00, comicbooks.com