Life — November 11, 1886 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

AN EXCELLENT DISGUISE. ESTAURANT PROPRIE- TOR (0 chef): I’m afraid you have put a little too much veal in this chicken salad, Napoleon. i CHEF: It’s all veal, sir. Shall I put in a little chicken? RESTAURANT PROPRIETOR: No, certainly not. Put in some feathers, and if any guest says “veal” to me, I'll ask him if he ever saw a calf with wings. * * * THEY FELT THE LOSS KEENLY. “ ND how do your people take the death of your grandfather, Mr. Fogg?” “ Oh, very hard, Mrs. Puff, very hard. You see this is the first time grandfather has ever died.” * * * HEN. .a black man looks wa green and feels blue he makes a sort of rainbow of himself. * * HE obituary column is full of the last sad writes. * Jenny : HE HAS DIED. Sally: OH! AH, YES. FATHER. 291 Jenny: HAVEN'T I HEARD YOU SPEAK, SALLY, OF KNOWING A THOMAS HEARTWORTHY ? ‘Sally (who is sensitive about her age): Tom HEARTWORTHY? OH, YES, INDEED. WE WERE JUST OF AN AGE, AND WENT TO SCHOOL TOGETHER. AH, YES, TOM WAS MY DEVOTED SLAVE. (Reading), ON TUESDAY, AGED THIRTY-FIVE YEARS, AND THIRTY-FIVE YEARS, YOU SAY? WHY, THAT MUST BE Tom’s A FREAK ‘OF FORTUNE. MILLIONAIRE awoke one day, to find His millions turned to thousands over night— ____ He died of grief. His heir from sheer delight At unexpected riches,—lost-his mind ! SOME MEN ABOUT TOWN. (Our acknowledgments are due to several of our esteemed contemporaries, mostly of the Sunday persuasion, for the bright thought of starting this col~ umn, I MET President Cleveland in Madison Square, last week, Bartholdi Day. , We stood opposite each other for some time while the pro- cession passed us in review. He remarked to Secretary Whitney that it was a pity the day was so stormy, and he added, significantly, that he thought ‘‘ it would clear off by and by.” The expression of his face as he said this was a study, and it fully confirmed the rumor which has several times come to me lately, that the President had strong hopes of Roosevelt’s election. It was evident that his remarks re- ferred to the atmosphere of New York City politics. A band came by just then, and being across the street I could not get the full text of Secretary Whitney’s reply. * * * Wy DENS: is looking well—never better. I am not absolutely certain which of the gentlemen standing near the President, was Whitney, but which ever one he was he never looked better. * * * | WAS chatting the other evening with my old friend, the blind newsman, at the junction of Broadway and Fifth Avenue. I al- ways like to talk to him —he is so approachable. He assures me that the Blaine movement is growing every day. Two weeks ago he sold regularly, thirteen copies of the Evening Post, and that night only eleven had been called for. Almost everyone who buys a paper tells his political views to the newsman, and my friend says that all his | customers speak of the growth of the Blaine boom. The fall in the circulation of the Post may be partly ‘owing to this paper's advocacy of Hewitt, but not more than fifty per cent. of the loss can be laid to that. A decreased circulation of one copy in thirteen, fortnightly, if universal, would compel the Post to suspend publication early in 1887. It is sad to think that the once prosperous journal of the great Bryant is within a few months of its end. * * * MUECABY, the well-known conductor on the Broadway road, told me the secret of the recent strikes as I rode up town with him yesterday. The whole thing was due to a rumor that the companies were about to turn the money-trap in the car floors to their own ac- count. Hitherto the coins that passengers dropped between the narrow slats have been a perquisite of the conductors. The compan- ies resolved to deepen the floors and lock down the wooden-slatted ar- rangements, thus letting the gross receipts into their own pockets. The matter was finally adjusted by the conductors agreeing to work the floors on shares with their employers, Mulcahy rang up three fares, as a gentleman paid for himself and three ladies (Mulcahy never forgets the ladies), and was just giving me his views on Jacob Sharp, when we passed Delmonico’s, and I spied the advertising manager of a large soap concern, whom I knew I could strike for an interview. * * JUMPING off the car as it was going quite rapidly, Tran full tilt into Joseph Pulitzer on the crose-walk, We had’ time for only a moment’s chat. Said he, ‘‘Confound you for a fool! Get off my feet. Isn't the World big enough for both of us ?” His nervous manner and the peculiar reference to his newspaper convinced me that the circulation of the World is not as great as the public is led to suppose. W. W. E£. * WAV HERE does a buckboard ? oston Herald. The Htrald has a circulation of over 100,000. American humor pays. comicbooks.com