Life — November 11, 1886 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

re i “ce ES,” said the chairman, sadly, ‘‘ our temperance meeting last night would have been more successful if the lecturer hadn't been so absent-minded.” ‘* What did he do?” ‘* He tried to blow the foam from a glass of water.” New York Sun. SEISSORS AT NvLLy ABSENT-MINDED. SHE and he had been listening to the music of the insect world, “Arthur,” she exclaimed, breaking the noisy silence, ‘ how delightful, and yet how sad, is the monotonous chorus of those toadstools!” “Toadstools, my dear?” replied Arthur; “think you mean crick- ets.” ‘Yes, crickets, that’s what I mean. I knew it was something to sit on.”— Boston Transcript. , First Lawyer: Ah, Dobkins, how did you come out in that case you were just beginning when I went away ? SEcoNnD LawYER: Gloriously. It was a perfect success. Created agreat sensation. Papers full of it. Got lots of advertising out of it. I think it was the making of my future. First Lawyer: Good! Glad to hear it, old fellow. I knew you had stuff in you. And, by the way, what did they do to your client ? SECOND Lawyer: Oh, they hanged him !—Zx. RECITATION hours at Yale have been changed to favor the football players. This is the first indication of the change of the college into a university. — Norwich Bulletin. 297 THE DRAMA IN CROSBY, Ar Smith's Hall, Wednesday evening, Macbeth” by Wm, Shake- speare, was played by some jay hamfatters from New York. ROT! Opp FELLOWS HALL, Thursday night, ‘‘ Over the Garden Wall,” a charming drama of most refined elaracter wae presented by the Junius B. Barrett Company. The play was all that could be desired. The players were all faultless in their respective roles. The gentlemanly advance agent had his show-bills printed at the Clarion office, and spoke very favorably of their elegance as compared with the blacksmith work that the Macbeth Company had done at the Argus office. A FEARFUL BLUNDER. OmaHa Man: What! been discharged after only a week’s work in Chicago ? Son’: Yes, they said I was too green for them. “Well, well, I thought you were pretty well up in their line of busi« ness. What mistake did you commit 2” “Paid a bill the first time a man called.” — Omaha World. KEEN APPRECIATION. OmaHa MAN: Mr. Rochefort, the French journalist, has written a play called ‘Trelandais,” which treats of your countrymen in America, Pelieve. ; PATRICK: Sure, now, but that’s clever. elit him aldermon moighty quick, 'T can't make out just what sort of a play itis, The paper says i treats of a fanciful invasion of Canada.” beast a i “By the Fanians ?” “Probably.” , “Arra, now, wot a macknificint military sphetical that must be, If he'd come out here we'd HEADQUARTERS FOR STRAIGHT WHISKIES, “OLD CROW” AND HERMITAGE, SOUR MASH. Sold absolutely pure, unsweetened, uncolored, Various None sold less than four years old. Reliable for medical use. ‘We have taken every barrel of Rye Whisky madeat the Old Crow Distillery since January, 1872. Sole Agents for The Pleasant Valley Wine Co. Full lines of reliable Foreign Wines, Liquors and Segars, H. B. KIRK & CO., 69 FULTON ST., BROADWAY ano 27TH ST., AND 9 WARREN STREET. ESTABLISHED 1853. LUNDBORG'S 178 & 180 Fifth Ave., bet. 22d & 23d Sts., and 181 Broadway, near Cortland St., NEW YORK. Palmer House, Chicago. sure.” — Omaha World. LADIES’ TAILOR. HABIT MAKER and HATTER or 19 EAST 2ter STREET, NEW YORK, CELEBRATED HATS EY, Souterts a0 Inspection of his Fall Importations in AND ‘Woolens and Fabrics LADIES’ ROUND HATS. Selected from Leading ‘Manufacturers in Euro~ pean markets, Designs and Styles in Novelties certain to lease are now to beseen y patronsand ladies who require a Perfect Fit and S rictly Tailor Made oat 914 Chestnut St., Phila. jackets, Coats, Gowns, Perfume HE BRIDE {WHITE HOUSE | cagenntyye.. ihe. Dive Fall Biography of President Cleve ™ BEAUREUR BURTEATE, aug tuunorzed” by” her Price 25 Cents. Agents wanted, Write for particulars. BRADLEY & COMPANY, 66 N. 4th St. Phila. Wraps,’ etc., etc., for House or 's Wife, with Ripe Hasrrs Mave or Fauttiess Frr, EDENIA LUNDBORG'S “LIFE’S VERSES!” Composed of the best poems, stlected from “Life,” beautifully bound and illustrated. Cover in colors, The daintiest book ever published. Price, $1.50, postage paid. Also, “THE GOOD THINGS OF LIFE.” Second Series. Price, $2.50 Send remittance by check to order of + LIFE + 1155 BROADWAY, NEW YORK, Rhenish Cologne. CROSBY’S VITALIZED PHOSPHITES. Strengthens the intellect, restores lost functions, builds up worn-out nerves, promotes good digestion, cures all weaknesses and nervousness, 56 West ast Street, Naw York. For SALE py Druacists, oR MAIL, $1.00. comicbooks.com