Life — October 14, 1886 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

i COMPARATIVE MISERY. AN IDYL OF BILLS AND INSANITY. H, this is the season When Paters with reason Wax glum, As the dealer in fuel Doth pocket a cruel Big plum. A month or two later The visage of Pater Much glummer, Will wax when he pays A bill that he'll raise On the plumber. And latest of all His face it will fall To its glummest, And at Christmas with pain You'll note that his brain Out of plumb est. * * * ¢ I “HE Politicians seem to have struck a Mayor’s nest-this fall. There are almost as many applicants for the position as there are pretenders to the throne of France. * * * RS. V. P. J * thou hadst thy way, oh Henry George, How many acres wouldst thou disgorge? * * * HAT arch-patriot, Jeff Davis, sends forth another batch of vituperation against the traitor, Sherman. There is no use of talking about it. Gen. Sherman ought to have been hung for his services long ago. * * * F the Government would take a lesson from the Man- hattan Club and eject socialists, anarchists and agitators generally from our shores it would be a good thing— anda | popular thing, too! * * * HE Philadelphia ews has adopted the system of giving indented titles to its Editorials. This is a good scheme. There is some likelihood that the reader will discover what the editor is talking about. Boston newspapers men might go and do likewise with | considerable profit. * * * R. EVARTS never would make a good judge. It is the public notion that his charges would ruin a jury of Millionaires. | rent yourself tome asa Freak? INTERCEPTED POSTAL CARDS. IFE’S special Interceptor waylaid the postman on Broadway a few days since and discovered on his per- | son the following postal cards, which the Interceptor promised to forward to their proper destination in lieu of having his curiosity as to their contents satisfied. The first was dated at the Casino, and read: George Jones, Esq., Editor and Proprietor of the New York Times: Dear Sir: Will you kindly withdraw your attention from rechristening Alaskan rivers for one moment and answer the fol- lowing question? If you are sincere in your denunciation of a certain variety actress and her noble attendant, now in this city, why do you receive pay for furthering the young lady’s success in your advertising pages? Yours truly, Joun SMITH. * * * EXT to Mr. Smith's pertinent communication, the Inter- ceptor found this instructive proposition : Minzesheimer’s Freak Lyceum (Limited.) | Mr. Henry George : Sir: In the event of your non-success at the polls, will you Your remarks concerning City Government disclose the fact that you are an 18-karat paradox. An Educated Ignoramus, I believe, has never before been exhib- ited in this country, and you will certainly draw at a dime per view. | An early reply is requested. IsAAC MINZESHEIMER. * * + V ERY properly there followed two communications to sup- porters of Mr. George's candidacy, of which the follow- ing are verbatim copies : I. Prof. De Leon, Columbia College: DEAR ProFessor: At the Henry George Mass Meeting you stated that the issue this year is ‘‘one of truth, not of twaddle.” Kindly advise me by return mail why you at once proceeded to ignore truth and talk twaddle. We cannot forgive this even in a native-born American with a Parisian accent. Yours, A STUDENT OF PoLItics. I, R. Heber Newton, D.D.: Dear Sir: You have doubtless heard the old saying, ‘‘ Shoe- maker, stick to your last.” Cannot this be construed into an injunc- | tion against menders of souls meddling in politics ? With great respect, ONE OF YOUR MANY ADMIRERS. * * * HE last bore the etiquette department heading of the New York World and was addressed to a leading prohibitionist in Maine. It read: Your proper designation is ‘‘ Jugwump.” George W. Me. comicbooks.com