Life — October 7, 1886 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

- LIFE: AT JeIS§ORS AT NvLLy STORYETTES FROM THE ARGONAUT. RS, FREMONT, in her sketch of the life of her father — Senator Benton — tells the following of the French bishop at St. Louis at the time of the purchase of Louisiana. It wasa point of honor among the older French not to learn English ; but the bishop needed to acquire fluent English for all uses, and for use from the pulpit | especially. To force himself into familiar practice, the bishop secluded | himself: for a while with the family of an American farmer, where he would hear no French, Soon he had gained enough to announce a | sermon in English. Senator Benton was present, and his feelings can be imagined when the polished, refined bishop said : ‘ My friends, I am right-down glad to see such a smart chance of folks here to-day.” BEFORE Bismarck reconstructed the map of Europe, and made a united Germany, a dozen little principalities used to annoy travelers by stopping them at their frontiers, until they had satisfied the custom- house demands. A Yankee once had his carriage stopped at the frontier of a petty prince's country. The Herr Ober, Controleur at the custom-house, came forward, and, much to his indignation, was received in a nonchalant way. The Yankee was ungentlemanly enough not to get out of the carriage, or even to take off his hat. The Herr Ober sharply demanded the keys of the tourist's trunks, which his subordinate began handling roughly. ‘‘ Here, hands off !” shouted the Yankee. ‘I didn’t come from the United States of America to be controlled by you. Put those trunks back. I'll not go through | you atall, I'll turn back, I'm in no hurry, and don’t care for losing | aday. You're no coyntry, you're only a spot, I'll go round you.” | And he did. 1 217 In the Butte City Convention, last week, the gentlemen from the Green Isle had things so entirely their own way that they did not pro- pose to give any other nationality a representation on the ticket. Finally, when all the available material was used up, a delegate arose, it is related, and nominated Patrick O'Hara for Justice of the Peace. “Who is Patrick O'Hara, and where does he live ?” inquired a dele- gate. ‘He's a friend of mine, and he lives in Ireland,” was the reply ; ‘‘ but he'll be over on the next steamer.” H. H. Hoxie, of the Missouri Pacific Railway, isa hard worker, and very round-shouldered. One day a brakeman called on him with a letter request for a pass in his pocket, leaving the door wide open as he entered the office, and wearing his hat on his head in true brakeman style. Ina loud voice he called out: “Is Hoxie in?” At this the general manager looked up from his desk and replied: ‘ Yes, sir, Mr. Hoxie is in.” The brakeman took his letter out of his pocket, grabbed the corner of the envelope between his thumb and forefinger, and sent the missive spinning and whirling upon his superior’s desk. Hoxie looked up in amazement and said : “Now, young man, would it not look better for you, when coming into a gentleman's office, and especially so when asking a favor, to remove your hat, wipe your feet, and inquire in a quiet voice, ‘Is Mr. Hoxie in?’”’ The brakeman looked at the general manager a moment, asked for his letter, got it, went out, closed the door, and in a moment marched in again, closed the door softly after, wiped his feet, put his hat under his arm, and, in the most polite manner possible, inquired: ‘Is Mr. Hoxie, the general manager, in?” ‘ I am Mr. Hoxie,” replied the general man- ager ; ‘what can I do for you?” ** You can go to h—I, you round- shouldered son of a gun,” retorted the brakeman ; ‘ I don’t want none | of your favors—I’m from Texas.” THE Chicago Mail boasts of a citizen of fine discrimination and delicacy, who, riding in the suburbs with his best girl, passed a stable in the door of which stood a couple of calves.‘ See,” said the young lady, ‘those two cute little cowlets.” Those are not cowlets, Araminta; they are bullets.” And the procession moved rapidly on. HEADQUARTERS FOR STRAICHT WHISKIES, “‘OLD.CROW ” & HERMITACE, SOUR MASH. Sold absolutely pure, unsweetened, uncolored. Various ages, None sold less than four years old. Reliable for medical use. We have taken every barrel of Rye Whisky made at the Old Crow Distillery since January, 1872. Sole Agents for ‘The Pleasant Valley Wine Co. Full lines of reliable Foreign Wines, Liquors and Segars. H.B. KIRK & CO. 69 FULTON ST., BROADWAY ano 27TH ST., AND 9 WARREN STREET. LADIES! ESTABLISHED 1853. = 178 & 180 Fifth Ave., bet. 22d & 23d Sts.. and 181 Broadway, near Cortland St., NEW YORK. Palmer House, Chicago. Goop FOR THE PROPRIETOR, the rooms of a hotel reads as follows clubs and dumb-bells will not be permitted in Guests in need of exercise | can godown to the kitchen and pound steak. | any of the rooms. IGHTED. CELEBRATED HATS AND. ROUND HATS. LADIES’ TAILOR. HABIT MAKER and HATTER, oF 19 EAST 2ter STREET, NEW YORK, SOLICITS an Inspection of his Fall Importations in Woolens and Fabrics Me Selected from Leading QF Manufacturers in Euro- pean markets. Designs and Styles in Novelties certain to jeasé are now to beseen y patrons and ladies who require a Perfect Fit and $ rictly Tailor Made jackets, Coats, Gowns, Wraps, etc., etc., for the Drive,’ House or Street. ot4 Chestnut St., Phila. A sign in “Indian Rivne Hasits Mane or Facutiess Fir. PRIESTLEY’S NEW SILK WARP FABRICS. Among the new materials especially commended is the Clairette, also shown with a border for veils. This soft, dainty fabric seems impervious to hardship, and while light in weight, is sufficiently black to @e assumed even in. deep. mourning. Convent cloth will be much worn in the early spring. Gypsy Cloth isan etamine ine and artistic in draping. while firm in texture. This Pansy is a soft twill, fine and beautiful, and will undoubtedly prove a favorite.—Delineator. ‘s My dear child, how considerate you are! This Rhenish Cologne is so refreshing and agreeable it is really a luxury to one so old and infirm as your | grandmother.” LUNDBORC’S RHENISH COLOCNE. UDSON’S “Indestructible” ENGLISH MARKING INK Will not injure the most delicate fabrics. A stretcher for holding cl thing whilemarking, given freeto every purchaser. NO HEAT, % “Refreshing and agreeable” to young and old. Price, 25c. AM. HEADQUARTERS, 46 Murray 8t.,N.¥. comicbooks.com