Life — September 23, 1886 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

LIFE: EDITORIAL WARFARE, 6¢\7 OU know I called you a liar in last week's Bung,” said one Dakota editor to another, ‘and said that in your cowardly attack on my paper and the county officers you were simply | trying to force the board to give you some of the county printing.” “Yes, I noticed it.” “Weil, the board braced up and gave me fifteen dollars worth of extra work.” “‘That’s pretty good. You remember that I referred to you as a sneak thief, and said you were standing in witha corrupt county gov- ernment simply to assist in plundering the people, in the last issue of the Bang 2” “Yes.” “T got seven new subscribers on the strength of that—they said they were taxpayers, and wanted to support a paper that was not afraid | to fight the ring.” ““Glad to hear it—I guess we'll manage to pull through in this country. Say, you call me a ‘cowardly, cringing whelp’ this week, and T'll threaten to shoot you on sight, and. perhaps we can work the | dear people for a few more dollars.” —Zstelline Bell. ‘ ‘THE hot weather has a dreadfully enervating and exhausting effect on Fetherwate. He emerged from the club the other evening and feebly beckoned a hansom. “Aw, dwi-vaw,” he said, “have you a good haws ?” “Yes, sir,” responded the driver, ‘ first-class, sir.” “ Aw,” gasped Fetherwate, ‘‘ then dwive me to next doaw.”—Zown Topics. 4 “ YounG man,” said the village editor severely, to the aspiring poet who had brought in one of his latest efforts for publication, ‘‘ this poem on ‘Lucy’s Charms’ is not bad as a whole, but that second verse beginning, ‘ Het eyes, my soul! Her eyes!’ is certainly a most flagrant plagiarism, You'll find that in any Methodist hymn book.” Chicago Tribune. A CINCINNATI DUEL, First EpiTor: Did you mean to infer by your article of yesterday that I was a-—-, —-, ——-, — SEconp EpiTor: No, sir! I meant to say. that you were a —, ! First, Eprror: All right, sir. the case. — Tid-Bits. KENTUCKY CLIENT: It’s too bad, too bad! ‘The reason I lost my case was because you indulged in too’ much airy persiflage before the jury. : KENTUCKY LaWyER: Airy persiflage? What are you talkin about ? It was nothing but the best bourbon, and, what's more, don't believe the jury saw me taking it, either. — 7id-Buts, MILWAUKEE has a summer school of philosophy which is now in session discussing the ‘* Henceness of the Wherefore and the Correl- ative Tooness of the Absolute Utter.” The relation which these burning questions bear to the price of beer is of urgent importance to every citizen of Milwaukee. — Philadelphia Press. I only wanted to get at the facts of ICI L'ON PARLE FRANCAIS. MR. MOULD: Let the trunk remain here and I’ll come back for it ! CHEF DE GARE: Je n’comprends pas, M’sieur ! Mrs. MOULD: Try him in Patin, my love. Mr. MouLp: Allright. Look here, Mossoo— Requiescat in pace, resurgam ! CHEF DE GARE: Ah! parfaitement ? - Que ca reste ici, et puis, vous reviendrez ! — London Punch. H.B. KIRK & CO. 1158 Broadway, cor. 27th St. 69 Fulton Street, 9 Warren Street. Recognized as one of the Leading and Most Reliable WINE HOUSES IN AMERICA. ESTABLISHED 1853. ) A large variety of Grocers’ Condiments. The pest and CHoIcest WINES AND LIQUORS, Some of which we have owned ourselves THIRTY apaseiareteaces: CELEBRATED HATS Honest Madeira, $3.50 per gallon ; good value. Sour Mash Whiskies, five Summers old, $4 per AND. LADIES’ ROUND HATS. 178 & 180 Fifth Ave., bet. 22d & 23d Sts., and 181 Broadway, near Cortland St., NEW YORK. Palmer House, Chicago. 914 Chestnut St., Phila. JRAKAVR |LADIES’ TAILOR. | HABIT MAKER and HATTER, or 19 EAST 2ter STREET, NEW YORK, Solicits an Inspection of his Fall Importations in Woolens and Fabrics Selected from Leading Manufacturers in Euro- pean markets. Designs and Styles in Novelties certain to lease are now to beseen by patrons and ladies who require a Perfect Fit i = 5 and S rictly Tailor Made AN eating-house keeper advertised for ‘a jackets, Coats, Gowns, boy to open oysters about fifteen years old.” : raps,’ etc., ete. for When an oyster becomes such a veteran, its ‘ the Drive,” House or age should be kept a secret, the same as a | * Street. spring chicken’s, An oyster ought to be able to open itself long before it reached its fifteenth year. — Norristown Herald, JPRIESTLEY’S NEW SILK WARP FABRICS. Among the new materials especially commended is the Clairette, also shown with a border for veils, This soft, dainty fabric seems impervious to hardship, and while light in weight, is Sulficently black to be assumed even in deep mourning, Convent cloth will be much worn in the early spring. Gypsy Cloth is an etamine fine and artistic in draping, while firm in texture. This Pansy is a soft twill, fine and beautiful, and will undoubtedly prove a favorite.—Delineator. \— Rupinc Hasrts Mabe oF Fauttiass Fir. “« My dear child, how considerate you are! This Rhenish Cologne is so refreshing and agreeable it is really a luxury to one so old and infirm as your grandmother.” LUNDBORO’S RHENISH COLOGNE. “Refreshing and agreeable” to young and old. “LIFE’S VERSES!” Composed of the best ms, selected from ‘* Life," beautifully bound and illustrated, Cover in colors.” ‘The daintiest book ever published. - Price. $1:50, grnage paid. "Ale, “THE GOOD THINGS OF INE: Series. Price, $2:50 Send remitts check to order of Second Series. Price, $2:50 Send remittanes ene drgs BROADWAY, NEW YORK. comicbooks.com fei..- Wino cnc za FEDIN. REET OA AG. dee oe