Life — September 2, 1886 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

- LI AT SEISSERS AT NvLLy THE PRESIDENT HAS ANOTHER NARROW ESCAPE. s¢TANIEL.” “Yes, madam.” “In cleaning out rooms, etc., preparatory to finding places to hide away canned goods for the winter, I find in one of the wardrobes this great heavy pair of rubber boots, with such long tops. Whose are they 2” “The President’s, madam.” “Down in the leg of one of them I find this black bottle with a high cork. What is that for?” “Bait.” “And in the other leg is an old pack of cards wrapped in an oil- | cloth, Whose are they ?”” “Oh! Ise. They are a pair left over by President Arthur.” “Thanks, Daniel” — from the adjoining room. —Washington Gossip. TIRED OF THAT CHESTNUT. ‘THE late Dr. Kemper, on his way home to dinner one day, meeting ‘one of the divinity students, cordially invited the young man to accom- pany him, adding that he did not know as there'would be much to eat. The invitation was accepted, and immediately upon being: seated at table the doctor commenced carving a boiled ham that was doing duty for the second or third time. FE: 139 “Why, my dear!" exclaimed his wife in surprise, “‘ you have for- | gotten something. You have not asked the blessing.” “Yes, I have, too,” bluffly responded the doctor. ‘‘I’ve asked the Lord to’bless this old ham ail I'm a-going to.” — Chicago Tribune. Tirsits tells the story of a conductor on a slow railroad who told one passenger that he had been on the railroad nine years,‘ Then,” said the passenger; ‘‘ this must be your second trip. Four HUNTERS (who have just fired simultaneously ata rabbit, and failed to hit it) :— ‘ Well, I wonder who missed that time.” — From the German, You must admit,” writes somebody to the Judge, “that Mr. Evarts has at last spoken on the silver question.” Yes, indeed; but what are his views ? There was a man who spoke on a broad question of theology. ‘‘ As between Heaven and hell,” he said, ‘‘ give me lib- erty or give me death.” It sounded well, and he received much | applause, but—. — Judge. Country Epitor : ‘‘ We give you a nickel watch and the weekl Clarion for one year for. $3, Mr. Smith.” MR. SmirH: ‘ How much for the watch without the Clarion?” Country EpiTor: ‘ The retail price of the watch alone is $4." MR. SMITH: ‘‘ Well, I guess I will take one of the watches.” CoUNTRY EDITOR: ‘But it will cost you $1 more than if you included the paper.” MR. SMITH: ‘ Yes, I know. But I don’t mind the extra expense.” ‘ew York Times. You say you were in the Union army during the war?” ‘Yes, sir; Iwas at Gettysburg.” ‘At Gettysburg? Well, I suppose you have written a magazine article about the mistakes of the battle?” “No, sir, I have not.” ‘Why, my dear sir, you needn't beg. You are the only soldier living who has not written an article on the subject. Why, man alive, you are a freak. You can get $100 a week ina | museum.” — Texas Siftings. A New Novel by the author of “ Oblivion.” LEISURE SEASON SERIES, No. 3. Mess. Henry Hout & Co. publish PRINCESS, By G. McCLELLAND, author of “ Oblivion.” x6 mo. | Leisure Hour Series, cloth, $1.00. Leisure Season Series, flexible cloth, so cents. Previous issues in the neieuRe| SEASON SERIES. Flexiblecloth, in a new style, soc. each. NO. 1. OBLIVION, by M. G.McCteL- | LAND. NO. 2. HANNIBAL OF NEW | YORK, by Tuomas Wuartox, author of A Latrer Day Satyr. Henry Holt & Co., 29 W. 28d 8t., N.Y. | -—— Spring Catalogue Sent Free. THE POPE MFG. CO., 597 Washington St., Boston. 2 a | CELEBRATED HATS LADIES’ ROUND HATS. | 178 & 180 Fifth Ave., bet. 22d & 23d Sts., and 181 Broadway, near Cortland St., New York. Palmer House, Chicago. 914 Chestnut Street, Philadelphia. COLUMBIA BICYCLES |LADIES’ TAILOR. | HABIT MAKER and HATTER, or 19 EAST asst STREET, ‘NEW YORK, LONDON, ‘AND BELLEVUE AVENUE, Newport, is pleased to announce that | he has reopened his New- port branch for the season, | where, by his personal su: | pervision, it will be his ; highest aim. to secure a continuance of lib- 7 eral patronage, earned by product ing the most per- fect fit and ele- ance in design in is Specialty. Inspection is in- vited to a line of choicest. _ Fabrics, suitable for the S seaside, mountain, Traveling and for Riding Habits. AND AND TRICYCLES. Branch Houses: Warren St,, N. Y. 115 Wabash Ave., Chicago. PRIESTLEY'S NEW SILK WARP FABRICS. Among the new materials especially commended is the Clairette, also shown with a border for veils. This soft, dainty fabric seems impervious to hardship, and while light in weight, is sufficiently black to be assumed even in deep mourning. Convent cloth will be much worn in the early spring. psy Cloth is an etamine fine and artistic in draping. while firmin texture, This G Pansy is a soft twill, fine and beautiful, and will undoubtedly prove a favorite.—De/ineator. “« My dear child, how considerate you are! This Rhenish Cologne is so refreshing and agreeable it | is really a luxury to one so old and infirm as your grandmother.” LUNDBORO’S RHENISH COLOONE. “Refreshing and agreeable” to young and old. | Composed of the best colors. The daintiest book ever published. Price, $1.50, postage paid. “LIFE’S VERSES!” ms, selected from ‘* Life,’’ beautifully. bog and illustrated, Cover in “THE GOOD THINGS OF LIFE.” Second Series. Price, $2.00. Send remittance by check to order of + LIFE - 1155 BROADWAY, NEW YORK. comicbooks.com