Life — August 5, 1886 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

the armadillos in her bunk. .The monkeys have just given my sixteen-dollar Panama hat to an elephant, who chewed it up as if it was MRS. NOAH FOUND ONE OF THE ARMADILLOS IN HER BUNK. common straw, and trumpeted for more. Those monkeys are getting too everlastingly fresh. I’ve got nothing to wear now but my yachting cap or a white plug all the rest of the voyage. ‘The waves are running mountain high, and “LEVEE © every day we pass lots of wreckage. We have sighted our first whale, and know therefore that we are really at sea. He came to the surface about half a mile off and spouted. Japheth tried to catch a tin-type of him, but he was a bad ‘‘sit- ter,” and not only winked sev- eral times, but yawned so that his picture looks like a photo- graph of the entrance to the Fourth avenue tunnel. Of course, we have passed an iceberg ;-no well regulated cruise would be complete without one. It drifted slowly by us in the fog last Thursday evening, and its presence was perceptible long before we descried it. The thermometer showed a decline of forty degrees while it was in our neighborhood, and the polar bears slapped each other on the back and scratched their heads with pleasure at the change of temperature. Yesterday I took an inventory of the live- JAPHETH TRIED TO CATCH A TIN-TYPR OF HIM. 71 stock, and made a few necessary changes in its disposition. We decided to put the laughing- jackass and the hoot-owl on the lower deck, and have unanimously voted to give the entire and undisturbed seclusion of the cupola to the pole-cats, Altogether it was a lively day. While Mrs. Noah was in the saloon with her worsteds and perforated cardboard, working a motto—'' Heaven Bless Our Menagerie ”"— to hang over the binnacle, one of the mon- keys stole her glove-stretcher and widened an old kangaroo’s mouth until she looked like a catfish. Mrs, Noah changed the motto to «*.__ —— the Monkeys,” and it now hangs between decks. The Ar& is pitching terribly, and I have been up on deck trying to take a sight with the sextant. Somehow or other I lost my balance—also- the sextant. Japheth took a sight of me, and says that I can turn a flip- flap better when I haven't got my hands full. Japheth is like the long-horned buffalo in the hold—he is gnu, entirely too gnu. CALLED on Miss Snobson last night,” said young 4 Slims lispingly, and when I went in she frowned, and said, “ you here again ?” Then she yawned all the evening, and looked at the clock, and when I went away she did n't shake hands, or ask me to come again. Now, if she does that many more times, I ’Il stop going there. “ N the stomach of a six months’ old child who died a short time since there was found a hammer, a small looking- glass, a flat-iron, two pokers and a fire shovel. The doctor refused to give a certificate, not knowing what the child died of. EVERY thoughtful sportsman should see for himself the necessity for an immediate and radical change in the government of our colleges. Few of the Professors, and none of the Presidents are at home with the bat or oar. President Eliot is almost without rank as a ‘gentleman rider ;” and the same may be said of certain others of our collegiate heads. This should be looked to. HEN one reflects on the quantity of champagne con- sumed in the world, and then upon the limited har- vest of grapes from which the beverage can be made, he begins to wonder what “‘ champagne” is made of. said a rich fellow to his former « [00K here, Smith, — schoolmate, who had asked for aid, “this is the second time you've applied to me this month. I’m afraid you don’t live within your means.” “ Ah,” said Smith, “I’m just trying to find the means to live within.” “cs AN the Ethiopian change his skin?” Certainly he can. All kinds of furs have a marketable value, and if he has one, or more, he can change them ‘into cash, with- out prejudice to his place of birth. WOMAN wears her prettiest stockings on a rainy day. Russta has added a flat-boat and a brass band to the formidable Black Sea fleet. comicbooks.com