Life — August 5, 1886 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

HESE are the happy summer days when the pater familias of moderate means might, could, would or should have hoped to economize a little. He finds he can get very decent rooms in a first-class summer hotel for twice what he can afford. Then, with the carriage hire, fees and laundry at $500,000 per dozen, his income piles up rapidly— but in the hands of the landlord. * * * HE Chicago Bomb-Throwers didn’t have so much forcite as their stock of dynamite seemed to warrant. * * * T. JOHN is on the political deck again in opposition to the Republicans of Maine. As the returns from the three other apostles are not in yet the party may recover. * * * E don't know who sent that bottle of dynamite to Prince Angostura, but we strongly suspect the recently arrived Prince of Japan. It must be maddening to a Prince to travel all the way from Japan to New York and find himself a drug on the market. * * * HE political atmosphere of France is at present a sort of Boulanger. * * * O anarchists who are looking around for a place to spend the summer we would respectfully suggest Bath, Me., as a suitable resort for members of that fraternity. * * * SHAKESPEARIAN student writes to ask regarding Hamlet’s age. We do not profess to be expert Shakespologists, but on consulting Webster we are disposed to identify Hamlet with the Village. * * * LLEN TERRY’S voice is said to be rapidly failing. There is no need for immediate apprehension, how- ever, as it has a long way to go before it becomes as weak as Irving’s legs, and we understand they are still rendering Mephistopheles to admiring audiences. APOLOGIES TO GOLDSMITH. HEN lovely woman flirts in folly, And finds too late that men delay, What art can soothe her melancholy, When time makes clear she is passée. Clarence Stetson. OOK out about this time for the French nobleman at the watering place. He knows what he wants. * * * OLLY times at Newport now! Good fitting clothes, and lots of conversation ! * * * T is whispered in literary circles that Mr. Howells is at work upon a novel to abound in exciting incident. Many of the principal personages, for instance, actually rise from their seats and walk off while conversing. But this rumor was probably started by some one unfamiliar with the great master’s intellect. * * * HERE seems to be a great deal of anxiety over the increase of people who will insist upon jumping from Brooklyn Bridge now that Brodie has made a success of it. The best advice LIFE has to offer is: “Let ’em jump.” The more the merrier. They will have to be buried by their friends, which is much cheaper for the community than fill- ing the lunatic asylums. A cascade of Arctic explorers, for instance, from the bridge to the river, would not be a national calamity. * * N California they have been successful in grafting the Italian chestnut on the black oak. This seems to be a waste of labor. Why import a foreign product when the colored minstrel, the comic opera comedian, and the pro- fessional humorist keeps us so abundantly supplied with the native variety ? * * * HE old Puritans were noted for their windiness in prayer and discourse: the Puritan of to-day is also distinguished for her windy work. This may or may not show the influence of heredity. * * * “T BESE are the times when less than seven days make one weak. * * * N O, Henrietta, the Chinese do not eat mutton with chop sticks. * * * ‘cc ROF.” WIGGINS has fixed September 29th as the date of his next great storm. Persons who wish to select a nice, clear day for a picnic will now know on what day to go. * * * HARLES ALGERNON stepped on some zinc When he got out of bed for a drinc In the middle of the night ; And such was his fright That till morning he slept not a winc. comicbooks.com