Life — July 22, 1886 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

- LIFE: “paE problem of the baseball championship is far from being solved yet, but so far it has been working to- ward an encouraging result. The New York nine, it is true, has not made itself a sure winner, but it has achieved a good deal under adverse circumstances. The Detroit nine has played a remarkably steady game, and has fully deserved Alt its honors. If the season results in taking the championship away from Chicago and Providence, where it has rested so long—though the latter is now out of the race—it will be a pleasing change. * * PPRERE has been more than the usual amount of ruffian- ism on the ball field this season. People of peaceful inclinations and refined feelings are hardly likely to fall very deeply in love with any form of entertainment at which rowdies are likely to rule. Professional baseball managers ought to consider this question seriously. The present state of affairs is a menace to the future of the game. It is only what should be expected, however, when a leading club sets the example of intimidating and abusing the umpire at every game it plays. Something ought to be done to effectually squelch those chronic grumblers from Chicago. * * * VERY well written article about Long Branch ap- peared in the Suz last week. There was one mis* statement in it, however. The writer said that lawn tennis was played out at Long Branch. He never made a greater error in his life. It is the favorite game there and is played every day in the week, including Sunday. There will be two good tournaments there this summer. * * * HE following interesting bets have recently come to my knowledge: $100 to $50 that the Atlantic does not sail for the America’s cup; $100 to $50 that the Puritan does not sail for the Amerzca’s cup ; $100 to $50 that the Mayflower does not; $100 even that the Przscz//a is last in the trial races; $100 even that the AZ/antic will beat the Priscilla the first time they sail twenty miles to windward and return, These bets are chiefly interesting from the fact that, in betting as to the boat that will race for the cup, the odds are two to one. That is, the offerer of odds regards himself as having a field of two boats against the other man’s favorite. The Préscz//a is not taken into consideration. in these bets. No one appears to be backing the iron pot now except the Herald, * * N spite of all the newspaper talk, and the lurid threats of Mr. Withers, that he would close Monmouth Park, bookmaking is going on there the same as ever. F any man wants some of the finest sport he ever had in his life, let him go down to Long Branch in September, after the giddy crowds have fled, and take a stout bass rod, a line anda big reel. Then, having baited his hook with mullet, let him wade into the surf nearly up to. his waist, make a long cast—as if for bass—and reel in rapidly till he gets a bite. If he does not have some of the finest sport in the world, catching game blue fish running from one and a half to five pounds, then my eyes have deceived me in days gone by. Tricotrin. 6 H! ain’t you mean,” said one six-year-old to the other. “You took the biggest cake. I was just going to take that myself.” OUR REVISED CLERICAL DICTIONARY. Part II. The necessity for issuing a Revised Clerical Dictionary will be readily acknowledged when the extent to which misconception has spread in the nature and duties of the offices herein described is con- sidered. What they once were, and what they implied, appears to have been forgotten. What they are now is the object we seek to explain : METHODIST. ISHOP—One who exercises no authority whatever, and who is usually too old to exert any. A CONFERENCE—A yearly gathering of persons whose principal objects are the submission of statistics setting forth the increase in their families during the past year, and the getting of themselves photographed. A PRESIDENT—One who is supposed to hear all and say nothing. A DEACON—Usually selected for his business qualifica- tions. One over whom you will have to get up pretty early in the matter of making a bargain. CONGREGATIONAL. Whose every member is a bishop, who thinks, says and does as he likes, and who is responsible to nobody. NoteE.—This denomination has proved a successful feeder to others, owing to the unusual facilities it possesses for a change of conviction. The utmost liberty is allowed in this particular. REFORMED EPISCOPAL. The last refuge of those who have become discontented in other churches, Irs DocrrInE—Neither fish, flesh nor fowl. Thoroughly independent in everything—except means. UNIVERSALIST. The most popular and pleasing method of getting rid of one’s ultimate responsibility for one’s own misdeeds. Its platform is too broad to prevent any one falling off or getting lost. BaPTIsT. A community possessing special water privileges that can never be cut off by a soulless corporation. UNITARIAN, One in everything. The next thing to a cypher. But yet eminently respectable. Fred. F. Hamilton.