Life — July 15, 1886 — page 9: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

CORRECTING AN IMPOSITION, RS. SIMPSON, of New York, was entertaining young Mr. Stroke-Oar, of Boston, over night. As a special compliment to him she hung an excellent portrait of Wendell Phillips in his room. The next morning she observed to him : “* T suppose you recognized that portrait over your mantel last night?” “Yes,” replied the Bostonian, rather vaguely. “* Boston’s pride,” continued the lady, pleasantly. “‘Oh! come now,” answered the young gentleman: ‘‘ who has been palming that off on you? It doesn’t look a bit like him, L assure you. If you would like it, I’ll send you a photo of him down here in ring costume when I get home. It’s reli- able.” He added, proudly : ‘‘ He gave it to me himself the last time I was in his saloon.”—Puck, MILDRED CORRECTS HER BROTHER. ““Wuy, James, what is the matter?” asked the High School girl, as her brother came in with his eye blackened. “O, had a fight with a couple of kids ; but I’ll get at em one ata time and take it out of their hides, see if I don’t,” replied im. ¢ J “OQ, James, don’t say ‘take it out of their hides,’ that is vile slang. Say, extract it from their epidermis.”—Pittsburg Chronicle Telegraph. At WHY IT DID N’T COME OFF. ’ “Wry, how yer do, Nancy ?” said old Hester, addressing old Sanderson’s daughter. “ Did n't yer git married last Sadday night ?” « ‘*No; the weddin’ dat come off did n’t take place.” “*Whafo’ did n’t it, gal?” “Well, case der warn’t but 13 present.” “ All foolishness. You oughtenter b’lebe in no sich foolish "spicion ez dat. I’clar ter goodness, yer makes me ershamed o” yer, puttin’ offer weddin’ jes’ bekase der want but 13 dar. W’y n't yer sen’ out an’ inguce de fo’teenf pusson ter come?” “ Well, daddy did go out an’ beg him ter come.” “« Well, w’y n’t yer go erhead an’ let him erlone?”” “Could n’t.” “wy?” “Case de fo'teenf man waz de pusson what had promised ter marry me. I tells yer, Aunt Carisy, 13 is bad luck.”—Zx. MODERN SCIENCE, GILHOOLY : It is astonishing what progress has been made by science during the last few years. It is wonderful in how many instances, thanks to science, that the genuine article can be imi- tated. : Gus De Smith: Yes, a New York firm advertises for artificial flower boys. How will an artificial boy do for a triumph of modern science.— Texas Siftings. A SOFT-HEARTED BOY, TEACHER: Why do you dodge when I draw back to slap your cheek? Fritz: Because I do n’t want you to injure your hand. “4 very original and deeply interesting novel, full of plot, incident, spirited talk, and character, and never too improbable for belief. It deals with that question—decia- | v edly of the earth, carthy—which novelists Dru ART: PHOSACID. Good for Nervousness. Water, or Mixed with Liquors. ists Generally, JRAKAVER, LADIES’ TAILOR, Excellent in Soda For Sale had much better leave entirely alone unless they can treat it as well as it has been treated here: the old, old problem of confused love and duty, passion, and law, The situation has new features, however, and is admirable and noteworthy for the way the problem is solved. . . The extreme cleverness and the innate nobleness of this conception are hardly appreciated on the first reading, when the reader is absorbed in the interest of the book as a mere story ; but the fineness of it, as a study of human nature, makes it really a striking study of the conflict between good and evil. . . . Such a situation ts novel in the world of fiction, and is worth dwelling upon as a bit of subtle psychology. Besides this there is a great deal in the book to hold one’s interest. 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